


New Home (or, The Inquisition comes to the rescue!)

by TardisBlue102



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Canonical major character death(s), Don't Kill Me, F-bombs, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hawke is the brother figure, I'm shit at angst though, M/M, Modern Girl in Thedas, Pro-Egghead, Swearing, THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING A FIC PLS BE GENTLE, The Inquisitor is a big softie, The fade is weird, This will NOT be a solasmance story though, amirite??, don't be fooled by the muscle or the glowing hand people, don't shit on my ha'hren guys, it's sad at first but it will get better, opinions are very much appreciated but be nice cause I'm a little sensitive, some crack cause I'm a lil shit, the inner circle more like the inner circus, undecided romance, you guys tell me who to romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-18 21:03:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 26,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7330582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisBlue102/pseuds/TardisBlue102
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where the inquisitor finds a rift while in the fade that leads to the modern day New York, after hearing the distressed calls of woman, he and the rest of his companions rush through the rift to help her.<br/>Or : AU where the inquisitor comes to rescue a girl from a serious beating by her jackass father and gives her the choice to go back with him to Thedas. Needless to say Kaela prefers her favorite fictional world to her own.</p><p>Note/ I rewrote the second chapter so feel free to check it out :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Holy shit that's the inquisitor!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my first time writing a fic and I just had this idea and thought it was brilliant and I should post a chapter and see what you guys think. I'm just winging it and your opinions and mine will shape the story.
> 
> Without further delay, enjoy the chapter!

I squeezed my eyes shut as he grabbed my hair and yanked it towards him. I whimpered and swallowed a scream as he encircled my throat with his hand. It was always like this whenever I "fucked up". Whenever I did something he didn't like, he would show me exactly what he thinks about it.  
It has been like this since mom died and he started drinking. At first I used to scream and try to run away, earning myself more beating. Now I just try to stay as still as possible so he would beat me up then, when he's tired, kick me and yell at me to go get him more beer.  
But nowadays he got more aggressive, he would yank harder at my hair, kick me more, he would even punch me harder. I struggled and screamed to get out of his grasp but he just tightened his hold on my neck. "Stay still you bitch!" He growled at me, and dragged me to the living room. As he grabbed his cane from the couch to hit me with it, we heard a cracking sound coming from the kitchen. "What the....?" My father muttered. He dragged me back to the kitchen, not releasing his hold on my hair, where we found a green crack in the middle of the kitchen, in the air mind you, that was oozing some green stuff to the floor. Suddenly, the crack was shining brighter and a figure came through, then another and another until there were six of them. These were no ordinary people, no, they wore armour and were covered in blood and they had weapons, swords and bows and fucking staves! I couldn't believe my eyes, the people I was looking at were so familiar that they couldn't possibly be real. The first one, a man with the green hand, the inquisitor as my mind helpfully equipped, looked at the kitchen with a confused expression on his face. "Oi!" I heard a female voice shout. "Where did you friggin' take us?" Sera! That's so surreal I can't freaking believe it! "Hawke," another voice said and I whipped my head to see Alistair staring at me with wide eyes. I realized my father hasn't released my hair and soon they were all looking at me and my father. "What are you doing to the lady?!" Hawke yelled and that seemed to snap my father out of his reverie because he yanked my hair back, causing a small startled noise out of me. That didn't seem to sit well with the inquisitor because he pointed his staff at my father and said, "release her or I will be forced to hurt you, ser." His tone was clipped and authorative and frankly really scary I'm glad I'm not on the receiving end of it. "Get the fuck out of my house!" Father shouted angrily and his hand was back on my throat. "Please.... Please.." I whimpered, looking at the inquisitor, practically begging him for help. So pathetic. So much for a good first impression. The inquisitor frowned and looked at my father with a no nonsense look. "This is your last chance, ser. Leave the lady alone or we will attack you!" He warned. "Fuck you!" Father shouted at him. The inquisitor wasted no breath after father's statement. He flicked his his hand and an arrow was notched in my father's arm, causing him to release his hold on me and cradling his arm. He started yelling and cursing and Alistair came forward and hit him with the pommel of his sword on the head, making him fall on the ground with a thud.  
I stared at his unmoving body for a few seconds before crouching to check his pulse. He was still alive, unfortunately. Wow. I kinda wished he was dead. What does that say about me?  
I heard some shuffling behind me and rose up to look at the six people in front of me with wide eyes.  
"How are you real? How are you even here? What the fuck is going on?! How come you're in front of me looking very much real?!" The questions started flowing out of me and I couldn't stop them. Can you blame me though? Some of my favorite characters are standing right in front of me looking nervously at each other while I blabbered my confusion away. "You... You know us?" Alistair asked uncertainly. I looked at him "of course I know you!" I nearly shouted, panicking. "You're..." I took a deep breath and continued. "You're Alistair Theirin." I said, looking him over. "From the looks of it, you're a warden and not a king" his eyes widened and he looked at his companions. There stood the Inquisitor, Dorian, Sera, Blackwall, and Hawke beside Alistair. I pointed at them in turn, "Inquisitor Trevelyan, Dorian Pavus, Altus not Magister," he let out a breathless chuckle at that. "Sera the Red Jenny, Warden Blackwall, and The Champion of Kirkwall, Hawke." I concluded and lowered my hand. They looked uneasily at each other, probably trying to decide what to do with this loony. "How do you know us?" This came from Blackwall. I smiled at him before launching into simplified description of my world and how I came to know their world. After what seemed like an eternity I finished talking and started pulling at my lips nervously. They seemed... Apprehensive at best. "Well," the Inquisitor started, after clearing his throat. "That was interesting.." I snorted, "tell me about it." I suddenly realized that I didn't know what they were doing here in the first place. I cocked my head to the side, looking at them. "What are you guys doing here anyway?" The inquisitor stepped up. "We heard your screams when we were in the fade and a rift opened in front of us so.." He finished looking somewhat sheepish. I felt my jaws hung open. "You came through a fucking rift to save ME?!" I looked at them and my eyes must've looked like saucers, judging by the startled faces. "Don't you know how fucking dangerous that is?! You could've died you fucking idiot! I'm not worth risking your safety and the safety of your companions over! People need you, Inquisitor. You can't risk your life like that!" I finished, close to tears. This idiot is the only hope of an entire world and he risked his life just to rescue me. I don't know if I should feel giddy or fucking pissed. Then it hit me. He mentioned the fade and that only means... "You were at Adamant weren't you?" His eyes widened and he nodded. "Oh no. Oh no no no that means you have to go back before your people get overwhelmed by the demons!" He visibly swallowed and nodded grimly and looked back at the rift that was still hanging in the air and spilling green goo on the floor. He turned back and looked at me, furrowing his eyebrows. "Do you want to come?" Is he..? "With us , I mean?" I looked back at my father, who was starting to to stir, and looked back at the group of people in front of her. "You don't have any other family do you?" Blackwall asked tentatively and I shook my head. "Just him." I said, pointing to my father. "You don't have to stay with him if he mistreats you so." Hawke came forward, taking my hand in his. My eyes shined with unshed tears. Was this really happening? Am I being given a second chance? "Fuck this shitebag" Sera quipped from behind. That drawed a little giggle out of me and I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath.  
I opened my eyes and saw them all looking at me with various degrees of concern and I wiped the tears from my cheeks and smiled

"Take me with you."


	2. The Fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! I rewrote this chapter because ugh I just found it so lame and this story deserves better so I'm gonna give it everything I've got.
> 
> As always comments are appreciated. Let me know what you think of the story and what you would like to see in the coming chapters.

The rift we crossed through opened up in the fade, naturally. I looked around the green, foggy terrain and theorized that this must be before they found the divine, or the spirit rather. The Inquisitor said that we'd better move on if we wanted to reach that rift that could get us back to Adamant’s courtyard.

I walked in the middle of the group so as to not get hurt in case something attacks us. 

Soon after we met the divine, and let me tell you it was fucking creepy how she looked just like her! Well the one I've seen in the game, at least. Her conversation with the Inquisitor was much like the one in the game and soon after, we were off again in our path. 

By the time we arrived at the ‘next checkpoint’, there were already spiders and demons. They looked so ugly and real. I swallowed a scream when a rage demon came toward me, but Hawke put a barrier around us and put me behind him. He assaulted the demon with lightning sparks, then froze it solid just in time for Dorian’s fireballs to blow it up.

The fight went on for what seemed like hours, but it was just a few minutes. I was scared as fuck but Hawke didn't leave me for one second. He let me latch on to his back while he threw spells on incoming enemies.

They talked to the divine again and continued walking. I kept to Hawke’s side whenever any skirmishes turned up, and he, thankfully, had my back.

The game didn't give Coryphefuck’s creepy ass voice any justice in the game. Like for real it sent chills down my spine. The worst thing was when I was mentioned with them when he talked about their fears.

“Ahh, Kaela. The child without a home.” The voice started. “Did you think running away from him would stop the nightmares? Your mother’s nightmares didn't stop until she took her own life. Is that what is going to happen to you?” I heard someone whisper something like Maker’s breath! I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Shut up fuckface! I'm not gonna listen to you.” The voice just chuckled, but said nothing else. The bastard finds this amusing.

We reached the nightmare demon way too soon for my liking and Hawke immediately put himself in front of me to protect me from the swarms of spiders. I haven't really reflected on the way the group fights before. They move seamlessly from one opponent to the other, helping each other whenever the need arises. The mages’ spells and sparks are so colorful and deadly. I could feel the heat whenever Hawke conjured flame, I could feel the chill seep to my bones whenever he conjured ice. It was like when I'm holding on to him we moved like one. 

When the fight ended and we rushed to the rift, what I feared happened. The moment where the Inquisitor would have to sacrifice someone finally came. The Inquisitor looked solemn as Hawke and Alistair argued over who would stay to distract the demon. He seemed to finally come to a decision when he closed his eyes briefly and looked at the sky. “Alistair…” He sighed and looked back at the man in question. Alistair nodded grimly and unsheathed his sword. “It's been an honor, Inquisitor.” I panicked and rushed forward but Hawke pulled me back with an arm around my shoulders. “No, no, no!” I struggled against his hold but he really was a bear of a man and didn't even budge. “You can't go, you'll die! Please don't die, please please please…” Hot tears ran freely down my cheeks and I could see Alistair's face contort with sadness. He came to stand in front of me and placed his hand on my hair. “I don't know why, but I feel like you are like an old friend I've forgotten.” The corners of his mouth upturned briefly. “I would have liked to get to know you better, but it seems like the Maker has another plan for me, little kid.” He kissed the crown of my hair and his hand fell to his side. “I want you to take care of the kid.” This one was aimed at Hawke. I felt him nod once and Alistair smiled at me and turned to face the demon. 

Hawke lifted me when I started to sob and carried me to the rift. I clutched his breastplate with all my might as the sobs raked though my body. I knew someone had to go but it didn't make it any easier to watch Alistair sacrifice his life for our sake. And I just met him in real life! How can you let go of someone you cared about for so long and just met for the first time so easily?

I felt when we went through the rift and heard the cheers from the people in the courtyard. I buried my face in Hawke’s chest and sniffled. I felt him sigh and looked up to see him watch me. “You're a strange one, kid. I've never seen anyone mourn the loss of someone he just met not an hour before.” I sniffled again and tried to blink the new tears away. “I know him, I know all of you and would mourn all of you just the same if anything happens to you. You just don't know me. I spent the better part of three years watching your stories unfold before me over and over again, each time a bit differently than the other but all with the same major events. I watched him fight Darkspawn with the warden, fall in love, bicker with his ragtag group and grow to be a wonderful man. All of you were like a family to me before I even met you. Seeing your stories and your amazing world is what got me through so much shit in my life.” He looked taken aback but didn't say anything else. After the Inquisitor finished debriefing the wardens and Inquisition soldiers, I told Hawke that he can let me go now. He looked dubious but lowered me anyway. He offered me his arm and escorted me to the camp in which we were to spend the night. I payed little attention to the surroundings as he guided me all the way to the tent, since I refused to eat. I was to sleep in Sera and Dorian’s tent and they squeezed a bedroll between the two already there. I lied down on my rough bedroll and cried myself to sleep.

The first hour I was in Thedas, I lost one of my favorite people. What does that say about my luck with good people?


	3. On the road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! Fair warning guys, this chapter is pretty dark at the beginning. Like graphic description and disturbing stuff so tread carefully.

I woke up from my nightmare with a jolt and looked around me frantically. The two faces that were watching me exchanged uneasy glances. I exhaled and forced myself to relax. I'm not with that monster any more. He will not get to me here. I'm okay. I'm alright.

My breathing evened and I stared at my shaking hands. That voice was right, the nightmares were never going to stop. It started with watching mom floating in her tub, it was filled with red water. Her face was pinched in a pained expression. Her wrists slashed several times and the razor was on the ground, covered in blood. Then it shifted to my father drinking and cursing and grabbing me by the hair at her funeral, it wasn't the first time he beat me and wasn't going to be the last either. Then it shifted to me sitting on the ground, staring at my phone and tears were streaming freely down my cheeks. That was when I received the news that my only uncle, the only one who actually treated me well, had died in a car accident. The last thing I saw when I woke up was Alistair.

Someone cleared his throat and I looked up to see Dorian and Sera looking at me nervously. I tried to smile but it was more of a grimace than a smile. “Is it time to go?” I croaked and looked at Dorian. “Ah yes well, let's get some breakfast first, shall we?” He said and extended his hand for me to take it. He hauled me up and looked me up and down. “Darling, I simply cannot allow you to go outside in these.” He said gesturing to my ‘attire’, which consisted of jeans, blue shirt and a black cardigan. “You do realize we're heading back to the Frostbacks, yes? You will freeze to death in whatever you're wearing now.” He looked at me expectantly and I sighed. “Alright, Dorian. What am I going to wear then?” 

So that's why, nearly 20 minutes later, we were the last ones to get breakfast and sit around the fire. Dorian dressed me in one of Sera’s spare outfits, since I was skinny enough for it to fit nearly perfectly. “What did they feed you where you came from?! You're skinny enough to be an elf!” Dorian kept grumbling about my lack of fat and curves. How can I tell him that I wasn't exactly getting the best nourishment back home without him looking at me with pity?

I sat staring at the fire and nibbling at whatever they gave me. I didn't pay attention to my surroundings until someone flopped down next me, pulling me out of my thoughts with a jolt. I blinked and looked at Hawke who sported a huge grin on his face. I furrowed my eyebrows and narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “That look always means trouble, Hawke. What is it?” He barked a laugh and thumbed me on the back. “Oh Fenris is going to love you.” He said, with a soft expression. I smiled and looked up at the morning sky. “Yeah?” I sighed and felt him nod.. “Anyway, I'm here to tell you you're riding with me today.” I sighed and stretched my arms. “Okay I'll ride with you on the condition that your mount is a horse. Not a hart and certainly not a dracolisk, but a horse, deal?” He nodded seriously. “I never ride harts and dracolisks anyway. Just good old Fereldan horses.” I nodded and stood up, dusting my breeches and extending a hand for Hawke to pull him up.

Let me tell you, riding is a literal pain in the butt. I sat on my ass for hours, holding on to Hawke as we made our way through the dales. Other than my sore ass, the scenery was so beautiful! I inhaled the fresh air and closed my eyes, relishing in the feeling on the breeze caressing my skin.

We stopped and made camp in a clearing, and the soldiers erected the tents with surprising speed. Everyone tended to their mounts before going to rest. I stayed with Hawke as he was the one I was most familiar with so far. He shared stories from his childhood and antics with his siblings with me on the road. I had a feeling he was trying to make me feel better, and he was. For a while he took my mind off of overthinking. 

We spent the next two weeks of travel in a routine. Wake up at dawn, eat whatever rations they give you, pack up the camp and ride with one of the companions, except the Inquisitor himself because he had a hart (he grumbled quite a bit on the fact that I wouldn't ride with him), stop and make camp before sunset, and repeat.

 

The closer we were to Skyhold, the colder it was. Garrett (he says he likes it when I call him by his first name, makes him feel younger) provided me with a cloak and wrapped his massive arm around me when I started shivering a bit. Sam confirmed that we were a day's ride away from Skyhold, now that we were in the mountains. Oh yes the Inquisitor’s name is Samuel Trevelyan, though he prefers Sam. He says Samuel is used whenever someone is scolding and lecturing him when he does something wrong.

We camped and ate quickly and went to sleep to save our strength for tomorrow. As Dorian pointed out, we are the inquisition, it wouldn't do to march in looking haggard and worse for wear.


	4. Welcome to Skyhold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Chapter yay! As always your continued support is amazing and inspiring me to keep writing. So don't be shy and let me know what you think!

We arrived at Skyhold sooner than I thought we would, still in the afternoon really. I thought we'd arrive at nightfall but Sam said he doesn't want to delay our arrival more than necessary. He really means he's tired as fuck and wants to get home as soon as possible. 

“The first thing I'm doing is getting a bath!” Exclaimed Dorian when the gates were in sight. Amen to that!  
“Can I get one too?” I asked from my place on Blackwall’s horse, careful being polite. I don't wanna impose on the guy or anything.  
“After the dreadful time you've had, mind that's it's your first time here? That's the least I could do!” I smiled gratefully at him. I haven't had a decent bath in two weeks for god’s sake!

The gates were opened in welcome of the Inquisition’s victorious army's return. When we arrived we found that the rest of the inner circle, plus the two remaining advisers, were there to welcome us back. Didn't see Solas’ bald head though. Guess he isn't much of a people's person. I found myself equally excited and dreadful of my imminent encounter with the egghead. If there's anyone to impress here, it would be him. Bull, Varric and Leliana are on the list too.

Blackwall dropped down from his mount and offered me a hand to help me dismount. “My lady.” He inclined his head with a slight smile and I fought a giggle, this man is so chivalrous! He discovered my weakness to chivalrous acts on the road, and he and Sam, the ass, decided that it was fun to fluster me as often as they can. Eventually Garrett joined in on it and they had a blast making me blush and stutter.

The Commander, who I've seen very little of on the road, and the Inquisitor took the lead in conversing with their friends and receiving their welcome. Garrett grabbed my wrist and pulled me along with him to the front. I was positioned between him and Sam now, not that anyone paid any attention to me. 

“I trust you received the reports about what happened at Adamant?” Sam inquired and I could feel the tension in the air then, as the mood shifted. Leliana nodded and her gaze hardened. She looked very scary and I was grateful I was sandwiched between two large men to protect me.

“If you mean Alistair's fate, then yes I am aware.” When she mentioned Alistair I felt the tear prickle in my eyes and I looked down. I felt Garrett shift closer to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I shot him a grateful smile and he patted my shoulder in response.

“Who's this?” I stiffened at the scrutiny in Leliana’s voice. I looked up to see all eyes were on me. I gulped and felt Garrett give my shoulder a squeeze in silent support. I fucking love Garrett right now.

“I'm afraid this is a story for another time, Leliana. Once we've rested and eaten, in the war room, perhaps?” Sam interjected before I got flayed alive in The Nightingale’s gaze.

She nodded and muttered an ‘of course’ before Josephine took over and guided us inside. I felt my neck would fall off from looking around so much, the castle was so huge! And so beautiful and vivid! 

I yelped as huge hands lifted me up in the air and I know just whose hands they were. 

“Let me go you big oaf!” I screamed, as Garrett spun me around then put me down. “I thought I told you no more lifting me when my back is to you and I don't know you're going to fucking lift me off the ground!” I huffed and tried to glare at him. I lost all my resolve, though, when wiggled his eyebrows at me with this huge shit eating grin on his face. I broke into giggles and got rewarded by that bellowing laugh as well.

“Serves you well for dilly dallying and staying behind!”  
“In my defense, I was ogling my surroundings. This IS the first time I come to Skyhold.”  
“Huh. Yes well you'll have plenty of time later to scout, since you'll be living here.”  
“Wow”  
“What?”  
“Nothing, it's just I just realized I'll be living in Skyhold now.”  
“Well obviously, where else would you go? This is your home now, kid. Better get used to it.”  
He smiled softly at me then rubbed his hands together.  
“Now I don't know about you, but I'm absolutely famished!” He said then, to my eternal despair, proceeded to lift me again and put me over his shoulder. My feet were dangling as he jogged back to the main hall. “I hate you.” I muttered darkly and he chuckled, slowing to a pace. “Nah you love me too much.” I rolled my eyes at him. 

I wondered then, and not for the first time, how did it come to be that I got so close to this idiot in the first place. Even though it's been only two weeks but I feel like he's the big brother I've always wanted. He was the fastest to warm up to me and wasted no time to show it. No matter what happens next, wether they like me or not, I'll have Garrett by my side. And I wouldn't wish for a better oaf to be there for me.


	5. The war council

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry I'm late guys I had some stuff to do and I dyed my hair! Fade Green you guys, Fade Green! Lol anyway enjoy the chapter, it's my longest yet. Also I've never played Origins so forgive me if I get some things wrong and correct me if I do.

Garrett seated me between himself and Blackwall at the table for lunch, with Varric on his other side, obviously, and Dorian was across from me. Sam was at the head of the table and gave me a wink when our gazes met. As the plates were being distributed to the occupants of the table, Varric leaned over Garrett to get a good look at me. “So you're the young lady they found in the fade?” 

“Yes Master Tethras. Mikaela Hamilton, at your service.” I did the best impression of a bow that I could, considering I'm sitting at a table. “Though, kaela or kid would do.” 

“Now now, no need for this ‘Master’ business. Call me Varric.”

“Pleased to meet you, Varric” 

“The pleasure is all mine, kid.” 

“As much as this is pleasant,” Garrett interjected, motioning between Varric and myself. “but you are interfering with my lunch, and I'm too hungry to be polite about it.” I rolled my eyes at him and muttered “git”. He grinned, the idiot.

After lunch, I was invited to the war room for a meeting along with the rest of the companions who went to Adamant, for debriefing. Sera didn't want to participate in ‘fancy meetings’ and Sam said they were together almost the entirety of the time there anyway so she could go rest if she wanted. 

Now imagine my surprise when I found Solas already there, talking to Leliana, when we arrived.  
I nearly squealed with excitement, and clutched Garrett’s arm a bit aggressively. “Garrett that's Solas! Holy Christ on a landslide, that's Solas!” Garrett was confused to say the least. Wether it was because of my excitement of meeting the egghead apostate or it was because of my interesting choice of profanity, I didn't know. I was too busy fangirling about Solas for god’s sake!

I tried to compose myself as much as I could when the door of the war room closed and the last member has arrived. Dorian kept muttering about ‘bloody southerners’ and ‘can't they wait til after I've had a bath?’.

Josephine cleared her throat gently to get the attention of the people around the table.   
“Now ladies and gentlemen, if you would, I'd like to begin the debriefing session so you go and rest as fast as possible.” God, this woman was beautiful! She looked way prettier in person and her face was flawless! Her voice and accent, as with everyone else here, was the same as the game.

Sam started recounting the events of the battle of Adamant fortress, all the way till the part where they found me (that got people to raise eyebrows, some frowned and some, namely one ancient elvhen god, looked very interested), then back to the fade and the part where they found the spirit of the divine, then to Alistair's sacrifice and the return to Adamant. Dorian's turn was next, followed by Blackwall, followed by Garrett.

Then it was time to introduce me to the ones who didn't know me and tell them about my ‘knowledge’

“This is Mikaela Hamilton, the newest member of the inquisition, and the one we found on the other side of the rift in the fade… Wherever that was.” Sam concluded rather lamely in my opinion. I came to know that Sam actually was a bit of a dork, and his talents did not lay with words.

I did a small wave and a “hello everyone” then proceeded to explain my ‘knowledge’ to the gathering. They looked a little skeptical about the fact that I know stuff about them so proof was kindly requested from me by Josephine. I took a deep breathe and looked at my hands. What am I supposed to tell them that wouldn't embarrass them in front of the rest or reveal stuff they wanted to remain as secrets? 

I decided to stick to basic facts and pray that would be enough.

“Lady Nightingale,” I started politely in hopes that she wouldn't kill me. “You travelled with the Hero of Ferelden before you came to be the left hand of the divine. The Hero had several other companions including, Alistair, a witch of the wilds called Morrigan, a Qunari called Sten, and an Antivan Crow called Zevran. Zev was the biggest flirt, Morrigan was a bitch to everyone, Sten loved cookies and Alistair was sarcastic but everyone knows when flirted with he becomes a blushing mess” Her eyes widened considerably and she breathed a “how did you..”

I turned to Cullen and swallowed, this is gonna be hard. “Commander, you met the the Hero when she was at the circle, yes?” I prayed to god that it was Solona Amell, like all my playthroughs or else I'm fucked. I breathed a sigh of relief when Cullen nodded. “I won't say much because it pains me nearly as much as it pains you to remember but I'll say anyway. You were tortured by demons in Kinloch then when you thought Kirkwall was going to be better it turned out to be nearly worse with the mage rebellion, Knight-Commander Meredeth turning out to be fucking crazy, then the chantry blew up.” I looked down and tried to even out my breathing. Man I was pissed. I hated what happened to him and it hurt to see the pain in his eyes. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Garrett looking down at me sympathetically. His hand came to my face and wiped my eyes. Holy fuck was I crying?! I exhaled and nodded and looked back at the gathered people in front of me. Who was left? Blackwall, Dorian, Josephine and Solas. Shit I'm not talking about Solas. Or Blackwall for that matter.

“Lady Montilyet, I may not know much about your life, but I do know there's a contract on your life and some people called the House of Repose are obliged to achieve the terms of the contract.” Josephine for her part looked shocked and Leliana promised her they will make sure that it won't come to that. Josephine thanked me and started scribbling on her pad thingy.

“I assure you that I mean you, or the rest of the inquisition for that matter, any harm. And no secret of yours, any of you, will be spoken to any living soul unless you want me to.” Solas cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes briefly at the mention of secrets but other than that, everyone seemed to believe me. Oh well I'll have to have ‘The Talk’ with him anyway.

Josephine ushered us out of the war room to get some rest and Dorian walked beside Garrett and I. “You know, you didn't mention me back there.” He arched an elegant eyebrow at me. “I feel obliged to thank you for not divulging the happenings of my past.” He inclined his head towards me. I took his hand in mine as we stopped in the main hall.”Your past doesn't define you, Dorian. Nor does the actions of your family.” I gave him a pointed look and did not miss when something, I have no idea what, flashed in his eyes. He nodded with a slight, somewhat pained, smile, and brought my hand to his lips and pressed a kiss there. I breathed a small giggle and his smile grew bigger, more sincere. “So it's true that you have a weakness to gentlemanly acts.” His tone was teasing and I glared half-heartedly at him.

“Now get some rest, darling. Oh and do come by my room later for your promised bath, yes?” I nodded excitedly and he left.

Garrett took me to show me my room and I had a bath for later. Things were starting to look good.


	6. Oh Fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! So some of you asked about 'the talk' and here you go! I should mention that Mikaela is bipolar so if you get confused at her sudden outbursts of 'sad' and 'happy' then you have an explanation now. I am bipolar so I'm telling you from experience that her actions are legit.  
> Anyway, enjoy!

As far as stressful days go this one is pretty much in the top five. Why, you ask? I'll just start from the beginning…

I woke up from another nightmare, surprise surprise, to find a huge hat with a person attached to it right in front of me. Cole. So of course I scream, I mean you wake up from a freaking nightmare to find someone right in your face, who wouldn't scream?

I calmed down enough and placed my hand on my heart in hopes of calming the erratic beating.

“Cole,” I breathed. “What are you doing here?” Mind that this was the first time I met him.

“I heard the hurt. It was loud. You hurt so much but you keep it all inside. I want to help.” Awww he's just the sweetest. Too bad he can't help.

“I can't?” He asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion. I sighed. How can I explain this to him?

“No honey, you can't. This is something I must deal with myself.” He frowned and looked down. Ugh I wanna give him a hug!

“Will that help?” He asked, looking at me with his eyebrows furrowed in thought.

“Will what help?” 

“You want to hug me. Will that help? Can I help?” 

“Yes. That would help.” It came out little more than a whisper. A hug is all I need after my nightmare, and the fact that it's Cole makes all better.

He reached out and put his arms around my shoulders and I put mine around his tiny waist. I let out a shaky breath and rested my head atop his shoulder. I had a feeling he wouldn't let go until I did first, so I held onto him as long as I could. I didn't realize I was crying until much later, as sobs raked my whole body and I started shaking and whimpering. Oddly enough, I didn't hate myself then for being so weak. It felt like a much needed release after so long. 

Eventually, though, I let go of him and rubbed at my eyes and sniffled a bit. 

“Better. The empty chasm feels a little smaller now. I don't like crying, but I needed to.” Cole smiled and extended his hand. “I'm happy I helped. The hurt is less, but not gone.” He looked sad at that.

“Don't worry, love. Someday… Someday.” He nodded and pulled me up. He said “breakfast” and pointed to the door and disappeared. I got up and relieved myself then washed up in the small basin I had in my room.

The room I was given was in the lower levels, near the kitchen. It was somewhat easy to find, just two corridors past the kitchen area, third room to the left. I wound around the corridors to find my way to the main hall. It was just past dawn I think and still there were lots of people around. Some soldiers were already there, plus some of the scouts who were heading out were still milling about. One of Leliana's people was walking towards the rotunda with a raven on his shoulder and a scroll in his hand, muttering to himself. 

I went straight to the table to get some breakfast and spotted the commander sitting near the head of the table. I chose the seat across from him, if I'm gonna stay here no harm in being social, right?

“Good morning, commander.” I greeted and curtsied. He looked at me with confusion for a moment, then seemed to come to his senses and greeted back. 

“Mind if I sit here?” I asked, gesturing to the chair opposite him. 

“Not at all lady Mikaela, if you please..” Did I mention I had a soft spot for gentlemanly acts? I'm sure I did. Anyway I sat down and took a loaf of bread and some butter, then looked around the table for something else that is recognizable. He seemed to notice my deliberation and passed me a bowl of porridge. Not my breakfast of choice but you don't say no to Cullen Rutherford. I thanked him and started eating.

After finishing breakfast I was determined to explore the rest of Skyhold, since Garrett promised me I would. However my endeavors were cut short by a certain bald apostate, cornering me on my way out.

“Good morning, Lady Mikaela.” He greeted, voice smoother than silk. Alright I may be biased but my point stands.  
All I could think of at that moment was a myriad of ‘shit, shit, shit, fuck, holy fucking shit, son of a butter cracker, fuck’ and a selection of other colorful swear words.

I swallowed hard and looked up to his face, not his eyes mind you, his eyes were the last thing I wanted to look at. I needed to stay cool and impress him. How can I impress him? Right!

“Good morning, ha’hren.” I greeted back, as calmly as I could, bowing my head down in respect. My head remained down in respect, though it may be because I'm a smartass little shit.

“You speak the elven language?” I am proud to say his voice was surprised (from what I could hear), and maybe a little bit impressed.

“No, Sahren, I do not. I know very little to incorporate in regular speech.” I could feel the curiosity oozing out of him, but it's stupid to let my guard out quickly.

“Why do you speak to me with such respect? And why won't you look me in the eye?” Shit, play it cool, play it cool.

“Permission to speak freely, Belraj?” I asked tilting my head up a bit to peak a look at him. His eyebrows were nearly the same level with his hairline, or what would be his hairline if he had hair. I fought a smirk so hard, you have no idea.

“Permission… Granted.” I looked up at him, this time in his eyes so he can see I'm speaking the truth.

“I think you understand that I know things about some people here, yes?” He nodded. “Then you must know that my knowledge extends beyond just major events and personal traits. I know most of the high ups’ secrets, but intend to keep it. I know yours, ha’hren, but I do not intend to use it against you. On the contrary, I hold you in the highest regard and would love nothing more than to call you my ally.” He looked taken aback and shaken to say the least but didn't seem to see any malice in my eyes when he stared me in the eye. I did my best not to cower and stared back until he slipped back into his regular mask of cool, but with an edge to his eyes. He nooded and told me he'd require some time to think this over.

I took two steps back and turned and fucking fled. Jesus this was more nerve wracking than I thought. I think I did a good job, though. He didn't seem too suspicious of me.

I was too caught up in my musings to notice the huge wall of gray skin in front of me, and I smacked my head right in the middle of it with a resonant ‘wham’.

“What the fuck..?” I mumbled looking up. I saw the big horns, the eye patch and the raised eyebrow.

The Iron Bull.

The last thought on my mind was “fucking huge” before everything went black, and I fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elvish words and their meanings: 
> 
> Ha'hren : old, wise and respected person  
> Sahren : one who will command respect  
> Belraj : leader of many
> 
> Yes I admit I was trying to impress Solas, can you honestly blame me, though?


	7. The Talk : 2.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! 'Tis I! These first chapters are slow, I know, but they're necessary to the story and soon we'll start pushing through with the main plot. So hang on guys!

The headache that was wrecking my brain was fucking horrendous. I groaned as I tried to sit up, not even bothering to open my eyes. I immediately regretted it, as the world spun round and round. I put my hand on my forehead and flinched at the contact. The fuck? When did I bump my head? Then it all came back..  
Solas.  
Walking back not paying attention.  
Fucking Iron Bull.  
I groaned loudly this time and put my head in my hands. Of course I'd fuck up my first meeting with the Qunari. I heard the distinct sound of steps to my right and forced myself to open my eyes. I blinked several times to adjust my eyes to the brightness of the room. Where was I?

“Hey, you're awake!” A voice boomed and my head swiveled to see The Iron Bull in all his glory standing at the door. Fucking huge, I'm telling you. At least 8’ ft, like a freaking grey wall of badass!

“You got us worried there, little lady.” He was walking towards me. Shit, what do I do?

“Quite the bump you got there.” He gestured to my forehead and chuckled.

Okay Mikaela, get your shit together. He's Bull, you know him, you love him, and what you gotta do now is impress him. He's almost as important to impress as Solas. Inflate his ego, but do it smartly. Surprise him but not in a bad way. You got this. Right??

“The Iron Bull.” I inclined my head. He inclined his back with a smirk. Okay this is gonna be tricky. Time to roll my sleeves and get to it.

“I assume I'm in one of your rooms, since this is clearly not the one I stayed in yesterday.” He nodded affirmation.

“May I ask why?” He tilted his head slightly to the side, sporting an unreadable expression to his face.

“Can you guess?”

“Well I'd say Leliana sent you to sniff me up and see if something smells foul.” The corners of his mouth tilted ever so slightly upward and his eyes glinted.

“I knew you weren't dumb.”

“Well? Would you like me to start stating facts?” His eyes narrowed in a thoughtful expression before he smoothed it back and motioned for me to continue.

“Okay, where to start, where to start?” I pulled at my lips and started rolling what I knew about him in my mind. I decided to start from the beginning.

“Okay, you go by the name The Iron Bull, with a particle cause it makes you less human more of a killing machine. You are a Qunari mercenary and a member of the Ben-Hassrath. As a child you didn't follow orders to the dot, like that incident with the chunks of meat which was pretty smart , so you weren't going to fit in as a soldier. Instead you were sent to train as a Ben-Hassrath and was then called by Hissrad meaning ‘the one who creates illusions’ or ‘liar’ for short. You got sent to that shit-hole Seheron, which no member managed to stick in more than two years, yet you managed solid ten years. I won't mention the incident with the Tal-Vashoth after eight years in Seheron cause I don't want to. You got pulled back and repositioned in Orlais and started working for a mercenary company, then you formed the Bull’s chargers. You met your second in command, Lieutenant Cremisius Aclassi, at the borders of the Tevinter Imperium and lost that eye right there saving him. The Inquisitor found you in the Storm Coast, fighting off some Venatori agents and recruited you and the Chargers. The chargers include, Krem, Stitches (the healer), Grim (doesn't say much), Dalish (bow, not staff), Rocky (into blowing stuff and fancies he can make a recipe like the Qunari black powder thing) and Skinner.”   
I let out a breath. Man that was a fucking load to gush out at once. I looked at Bull and he was staring at me with a calculating look. Okay needs more convincing.

“Listen, Bull. I know you think I'm some sort of spy or an abomination or whatever but I have nothing against you, and you don't even know me, but trust me when I say the last thing I want is to harm you or the Inquisition in any way, intentional or not. As a peace offering, I'll tell you something that is going to happen in the coming days.” He looked interested in that.

“A contact from the Ben-Hassrath will contact you and tell you the Ben-Hassrath offer an alliance with the Inquisition. The man’s name is Gatt. You will go to the Storm Coast with the Inquisitor but there something happens and you will have to choose.” I took a deep breath and went on.

“You'll have to choose between sacrificing the Chargers, and securing an alliance, or saving the Chargers, and subsequently refusing the alliance.” 

He processed that very slowly for a while and I thought my lip would fall off from biting it so much. He seemed to come to a conclusion when his head snapped up and his eye met mine, an easy grin gracing his face.

“You're alright, kid.” He announced like it's been questioned. Well it was being questioned not too minutes ago.

“Let's go.” He came and pulled me, and I walked with him, stunned at the sudden shift of his attitude. Damn, no wonder he survived ten years in Seheron.

“Dorian was looking for you, says he promised you a bath or something.”

“Yes! Finally I'm so dirty!” He raised his eyebrow at me.

“Eww no Bull not like that.” Ooh that gave me an idea!

“Hey, Bull. D’you know who’s got the Inquisitor’s interest?” 

“The Seeker. She's been holding off his flirting for a long time. We placed bets on when she's gonna crack.” He seemed pretty proud, I guess he's sure about his bet.

“Yeah but it'll all go to shit if she becomes divine.” I muttered.

“Divine?!” I swear his eyebrow nearly hit the base of his horn and I cursed myself for that slip.

“Shhh you didn't hear anything! Anyway that means that you and Dorian might have a lil something going on.” I saw him smirk but the little red that crept up his neck didn't escape my notice. Aww he has a lil crush! I'm so using this.

“Bull! You so like him!” His massive hand covered my entire face and everything else I said came out muffled.

He hauled me and put me over his shoulder, thank god for Sera’s breeches. And I laughed as he ran up the stairs to the main hall and stopped in front of the rotunda. Varric was there and he raised an amused brow as he saw Bull put me down.

“Charming the rest of the Inquisition, I see?” He chuckled and shook his head.

Bull leaned down and looked me in the eye.

“You shut your mouth about this and we're clear about everything else, deal?” He offered me his hand and I looked at it before jumping and putting my arms around his neck, hugging him tight. He was tense for a second but he hugged me back.

“You're the best Bull.” I mumbled against his neck. He patted my back gently and pulled back.

“I know. Now go take a bath, woman, you stink!” I wrinkled my nose at him but ran off to find Dorian.

Thank the Lord, Bull is on my side now. I'm sure Leliana would approve of me once Bull says I'm alright.

I tripped up on the fourth step of the stairs to Dorian's corner, and felt as strong hands caught me before I fell.

“Is one bruise not enough for you? Must you trip into something and cause more injuries to yourself?” 

I felt my whole face burn as the hands turned me around and I was face to face with a slightly smiling Solas.

Oh shit.


	8. Bonds and Sleeping Arrangements

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the delay I had a minor problem of food poisoning lol anyway I want to thank Leerna and Bakaprincess85 for their continued support, your comments absolutely make my day you precious muffins!   
> So this chapter is a bit emotional and has some minor self harm mentions so tread carefully.  
> Enjoy!

After that embarrassing incident with Solas, I had a glorious bath in Dorian’s quarters, which were not the little nook in the library by the way. Dorian, god bless that man’s soul, said I could come over whenever I wanted for a bath, even if he was away with the Inquisitor. 

Garrett found me after lunch, dragged me to the battlements for a ‘talk’, and all the way there he went on about how troublesome I am, making him look for me all morning. I explained that ‘bumped into a very large Qunari shaped wall and earned myself a bruise in the forehead’ punctuating that last bit with a gesture to my forehead.

When we got to the battlements, his face took a solemn expression and I started to panic. Did I do something wrong? 

“Mikaela,” he sighed and took my hand. Shit that's never a good sign. “I have to leave tomorrow.” Wait, what?

“What? But why?”

“I must go back and oversee the Wardens.” Oh I remember now that in the game he didn't come back to Skyhold, but stayed with the Wardens. 

“Oh.” 

“Hey, look at me.” He said, and cupped my cheek to lift my head up and make me look him in the eye. My eyes were shining with unshed tears. I know this is emotional and shit but god damn his hand is huge! If he slapped me now, I'd fly all the way to Tevinter!

“I will come back, I promise.” I nodded and looked down again. He let go of me and reached for something in his belt.

“You're very dear to me, Mikaela. D’you know?” He pulled a tiny dagger from his waist belt “You remind me of Bethany very much.” 

I looked up, surprised. If Garrett's a mage, then Bethany is dead. Oh. Oh shit. I remind him of his dead sister. That explains a lot.

“So if you want, we can make a pact.” He positioned the knife on his left hand like he was gonna...

“If you want, we can be blood brothers… Siblings? Whatever it is.” I've seen this before, two friends making a blood pact to be brothers.   
I extended my hand and nodded, not trusting my mouth. In truth seeing a dagger about to cut a hand voluntarily brought up painful memories. No he's not about to cut his wrists, he won't hurt himself, this is Garrett not mom, he loves you and he's trying to reassure you, he doesn't know what happened to her, he wouldn't have done this if he knew, he's gonna be alright, you're gonna be alright.

Garrett made a small cut in his palm, then reached out for my hand. I forced myself to watch as he brought the knife to my palm. I winced as he cut a smaller line on my palm and blood came oozing out. He clasped our bloodied hands together and looked me in the eye.

“I swear to you Mikaela, that you'll be family to me from now on, and I will come back to you when I can. You'll never be alone again.” Tears were freely running down my cheeks as I nodded. Why do I always cry? Why am I always so emotional? I want to be stronger, for me and for Garrett. I'll make him worry if I keep crying every damn day.

His arm came around my shoulders and engulfed me in a warm hug. I was shaking with suppressed sobs, and he caressed my hair with his other, uncut, hand. He was talking to me but I couldn't make out the words. It was comforting nonetheless. Soon the tears stopped running and instead I was hiccuping and sniffing. I sound like a fucking toddler I swear.

When I let go of him, he wiped the tears from my face and kissed the crown of my head. 

“Give me your hand, let me heal it.” I looked at my hand, at my blood and Garrett's mixed together, and shook my head.

“No, I want it to scar. I want it to be a reminder of your promise. I want to look at it and know that this was real.” 

“Alright.” His tone was soft and quiet. He fiddled with his red belt/sash thing and ripped a strip of cloth from it 

“I want you to have this.” He said and took my hand to wrap the strip around my wrist and bind it. My eyes were comically wide, looking at the red cloth around my wrist.

“I take it you know the importance of this to me?” He whispered. I looked up to see a soft smile on his face, and nodded. This was like the one he gave to Fenris. This marks me as an extremely important person to him. Never in my life did I envision I would be this important to someone and it brought the tears back to my eyes. Even though he hasn't known me for long, he considers me family and he even gave me the same cloth he gave the person he loves most in this world. 

“Varric is gonna be so pissed he didn't get one.” I whispered, looking at my wrist again. This pulled a surprised bark of laughter from Garrett and I looked up with a smile of my own.

Eventually, we went down to the healers, who scolded us for leaving the cuts exposed to the air and some other medical nonsense. We came out with bandaged hands and went to the kitchens for food. Did you know emotional conversations and promises makes you hungry?   
Well they do and Garrett agrees. He says if Carver was here he'd tease him nonstop about the emotional mess he is right now. We talked then about his family and life in Kirkwall and the rest of the Kirkwall Crew, he actually laughed when I called them that, and we talked about what a shit hole Kirkwall is but it is home. 

The rest of the day was spent hanging out with Garrett all over Skyhold. The asshole apparently never did unpack when we came back so there was no need to pack stuff up. We had dinner at the tavern with Varric and Bull. Sera was eating, and making a mess of it, in a corner. Dorian was there too and I winked at Bull, who raised his eyebrow and mouthed ‘don't dare’, making me giggle, much to Garrett's confusion. Drinks were passed around but I didn't drink thank you very much. Perks of having an alcoholic father.

Garrett didn't drink much himself cause he had to wake up at dawn and he can't be hungover on his journey tomorrow. 

He escorted me back to my room like the gentlemanly punk that he is and said that he'd be gone by the time I woke up so he hugged me tight and told me to be good while he's gone. I mumbled affirmation and he said that if I needed anything, I should go to Varric and he'll take care of me. I had the impression that they had a talk about me.

After Garret left to get some much needed sleep,I laid down in my small bed and closed my eyes and quickly drifted to sleep.

I woke up with a scream, yet again, and found Cole, yet again, in front of me. He was fidgeting with his hands, and looking at me with concern.

“Solas is awake. He can help with the nightmares.” Is all he said before disappearing. I wiped the tears from my eyes, this is really getting annoying, and shakily slid down from the bed. Should I go to Solas? I don’t think I should bother him with my nightmares, I mean I'm sure I'll get over it once I get my shit together. Ugh who am I kidding, I need all the help I could get.

I made up my mind and shuffled my ass over to the basin to wash up then went to the rotunda to see if Solas was really awake. It was definitely predawn, why the hell was Solas up at this hour?

I was meaning to knock on the door when I noticed it was slightly opened. I pushed it and poked my head it.

“Hello? Ha’hren are you here?”

“Here.” I jolted and looked up to see Solas sitting cross-legged on the wooden platform thing. He was doing it on purpose for the dramatic effect, I swear.

“Umm… Good morning?”

“Good morning, da’len.” He said with the same small smile he had yesterday. It took me a minute to realize what he had called me. I brightened considerably at the name.

“Cole told me about the nightmares.” I frowned at the mention of nightmares and looked down.

“Yeah he said you could help.” He sighed and I looked up to see him descending the stairs.

“I can help you to some degree.” I cocked my head to the side and narrowed my eyes. What does he mean by ‘to some degree’?

“Your nightmares aren't caused by demons, ones in the fade I mean, but by demons of your own mind.” He motioned for me to sit on the couch, and he came to sit beside me.

“If your dreams were caused by fade demons, then Serrah Hawke's wards would've taken care of them already and they wouldn't have persisted this far.” Wait, what?

“What do you mean by Hawke's wards? When did he ward my dreams?”

“I believe after serrah Pavus and Sera reported to the Inquisitor that your nightmares were particularly bad. The Inquisitor saw it fit that between himself, Hawke and Pavus, Hawke would be most suitable to ward since he is the most experienced of the three and Pavus’ expertise were mainly theoretical and elemental magic.” He stood gracefully and walked to the far end of the room to a table of sorts. So Garrett's wards did nothing to stop the nightmares. Great. Awesome. Really comforting to know, that is. I have the best luck. Yay me.

“What I can do, however, is provide you with a sleeping drought to help you have a restful sleep, if you want.” 

“But like wouldn't I get addicted to the drought or something?” Like I'm pretty sure sleeping droughts aren't meant to be used for everyday sleeping needs, right?

“It would be… Wise not to use it everyday.” He drawled and smiled sadly. Ah here's the catch, there's always a catch.

“So to get this straight, I can use it but moderately like when I'm really tired or have had an especially emotional day?” He nodded and placed some vials in a small bag and came back. He placed the bag in my hand, the uninjured one and look quizzically at the bound one, but didn't ask about it. Trust Solas not to push things. Kinda why I like him, ever the professional. 

He stood up and told me to drink one of the droughts and sleep on the couch here and he'll ‘watch over me’ whatever that means. I complied and laid down and closed my eyes.

I drifted to sleep as the effects of the drought dragged my wandering mind away. Eyes like blue fire and whispers were the last things I was aware of before everything was gone.


	9. Settling In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! You know guys, sometimes I feel like I'm standing at a podium and passionately explaining something and there are actually like three or four people in the audience and like one is on their phone and one is eating and like two people are nodding enthusiastically with me. Lol I love you guys anyway even the ones not paying attention.

In the week that followed Garrett's departure, everything was busier than I thought it would. For one, there wasn't a moment I was left to my own devices. I'm always with someone or the other. Having breakfast with Varric, Cullen, Cassandra and Sam. Afterwards, I'd stay with Varric who'd try to teach me how to play Wicked Grace, I was horrible at it. Varric says I'm as good at bluffing as the commander is, which means absolutely garbage at it. Then Dorian would come by and ask for a ‘stroll’ around Skyhold, says there's not much decent company here and my remarks on people's fashion sense are refreshing, reminds him of home. Don't know if I should be flattered or horrified, really. Then we'd somehow ‘end up’ at Blackwall's shed and he'd teach me how to do woodcarving. I'm surprisingly good at it! He says with practice I would soon start to carve figures rather than try to make blocks of wood look a certain way.

Then at the lunch bell, he'd take me to the main hall to eat with the majority of the inner circle. After that I'd spend the entire time till dinner with Solas in the rotunda, watching him work on his masterpiece. I'd sometimes ask him about the fade and spend hours, literally hours, listening to him talk about the things he'd seen there, the spirits he'd met. It was relaxing. Admittedly, sometimes I'd nod off right there on the couch.

I'm starting to suspect a conspiracy...

One day, though, I decided I wouldn't bother him with questions, and figured I could ask Dorian for a book since he is right above me and has a million books lying around.

“Dorian!” I yelled from my place, perched on the table. I heard a yelp and a couple of thuds before his head popped out, his eyes frantic.

“Vishante Kaffas, woman!” He shouted. “You startled me!”

“Sorry, gorgeous.” I blew a kiss at him and he smoothed his hair back and rolled his eyes.

“Yes, yes, flatter me. Now what did you need?”

“I need a book, of course!” I beamed at him.

“Yes, I figured. What kind of book?” 

“Do you have anything philosophical and pretentious?”

“Does Varric have chest hair? ” I giggled and his head disappeared for a few moments.

I heard the sound of his footsteps on the stairs and turned to see him triumphantly clutching an old ass looking tome. 

“Here you go, darling. The most pretentious book I have in my humble collection of pretentiousness.” He bowed his head and I snorted. 

As I took the book and stared at the swirling symbols on the cover, I realized something…

I can't read.

“Umm…” Dorian looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

“What, is this not pretentious enough?” He sounded amused but I had other things on my mind now. I can't fucking read! How did I not realize that sooner? Of course speaking common doesn't mean I can read or write it! I should have paid more attention rather than mope around. Useless.

“I umm can't read.” He looked confused and even Solas set down his brush and came to stand in front of me.

“You mean you can speak common but you cannot read nor write it?” Dorian questioned. I nodded and Solas muttered something like ‘curious’. Trust him to find it interesting.

“Well, it is of no matter.” I looked back at Dorian, confused. The fuck was he on about? “We'll have to teach you, then!” Oh he looked far too excited at the prospect of teaching me a new language than I of learning it. This is gonna be fucking hard.

And it was, of course I'd be right about that. I found myself whisked away by Dorian every morning for lessons, revising what I learned with Solas in the afternoon and going scavenging for children's books after dinner with Sera.

Today was my day off from language lessons, I get one day every three days off, and I decided to go looking for Bull since I haven't seen him in a while. It was mid morning so I figured I could find him down by the training ring.

True to my predictions, I found him sparring with Krem. Man, was that a sight for sore eyes. I have to drag Dorian down here some time, he'd love it here.

Something was wrong though cause I could feel the tension in air, and boy you could cut it wih a knife! Bull’s shoulders were tense and his eyes were focused and hard and he seemed way too aggressive on poor Krem. Something was definitely wrong. 

I waited for them to finish up and approached the ring. Krem dragged his ass by and gave me a little smile in greeting.

“Watch out, Miss. Boss is in a bad one today.” I nodded and patted his shoulder. He winced and I apologized and told him to go rest a bit.

I dragged my legs over to Bull and waved at him. He smiled but the hard edge was still there.

“They released you today?” He inquired in that easy manner of his, but it ain't fooling me.

“Yeah. Dorian said I'm a fast learner and I deserve a day off for all my hard work.” It didn't escape my notice how his shoulders tensed at the mention of Dorian. Huh. That deserves some follow up investigation with Dorian.

“So, Bull?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I'm bored.”

“And?”

“You're bored too.”

“So?”

“Can I get a ride?” He coughed a laugh and I blushed so hard I felt my head would explode.

“Not like that!” I defended, indignant at the suggestion in his laugh. “I meant like since I'm so small and you're huge and all, can I sit on your shoulders or something and then you walk around with my having fun up there?” I trailed off, kicking the dirt on the ground with my foot. 

“Fine, come here.” He gestured for me to come closer.

“Really?!” I squeaked and covered my mouth with my hands. “I thought you'd say no!” He chuckled and scratched the base of his right horn.

“You know, I kinda wanted to give little children rides like that, but they're all scared of me so…” He trailed off, gesturing at the horns and eyepatch respectively. Awww, poor Bull! I pouted and raised my arms, making grabby motions with my hands, making him chuckle.

“You know you're not that young, you rascal.” He lifted me up and placed me on his shoulders, making me squeal with excitement. My legs were dangling from his shoulders and I held onto his horns to steady myself. The harness he was wearing was kinda uncomfortable but it was okay.

He started walking and I couldn't contain myself and started giggling uncontrollably. It was so much fun! The change in the height was scary at first but when I noticed how people were gawking at us I got over it quickly for the sake of some much needed fun.

Bull, the ass, took off in a sprint, making me scream and hold on to his horns with all my might. I could feel his body vibrating with laughter and I relaxed a bit. I was glad I was taking his mind off of whatever it was occupying it. He deserves a break too, damn it!

We passed by Solas, who was reading some scrolls on the steps of the stairs leading to the main hall, and he raised his eyebrows incredulously at us and shook his head in barely concealed amusement. We bumped Varric’s table, causing his tower of cards to tumble down and he shouted at us.

We stopped, Bull was out of breath, in front of a very amused looking group of advisers and one disgruntled looking Inquisitor.

“Hey guys!” I waved and tried to get my hair to fucking settle down, but to no avail. It still looked like it was electrocuted.

“Hey.” Grumbled Sam.

“What's wrong?” Bull placed me down and continued my failing efforts of controlling my damned hair.

“We're heading out to the Emprise the day after tomorrow”

“Yikes.” I winced in sympathy. Sam did not do well with the cold. “Be careful, the Emprise is gonna be a rough one. Look out for a chevalier called Michel De Chevin or something like that. Good man, Michel. Oh and there's this asshole demon called Imshael who is a fucking prick, I want you to kick his ass.” He stood straighter and nodded.

“Anything else?”

“Yeah, take Solas and Bull since they both don't mind the cold. Right, Bull?” He grunted a yeah.

“Right and take either Sera or Varric but not Cole cause y’know Imshael is a prick demon and all? Anyway, the usual formation of Mage, Warrior and Rogue would do just fine. Oh and there are lots of red lyrium and some people are being captured in a quarry in… Anyone got a map?” Cullen handed me one and I pointed at an approximate location of the quarry. 

“Oh and there's this broken bridge there that needs repairing so I would suggest, Commander,” I turned to Cullen. “that you have people there waiting for the Inquisitor to clear the area of Red Templars so they could start repairing it right away.” He nodded and Bull whistled next to me.

“Damn.” He muttered.

“I know right?” I sighed then remembered something about that bridge that would make Bull a happy little Qunari. And by little I mean huge.

“Hey, Bull? You're gonna love me forever for this one.” He made a ‘hmm?’ Sound and I grinned.

“Across the bridge, there's a huge motherfucking high Dragon!” 

“AWW YES!” He scooped me and spun me around, making me giggle. 

“Noooo don't encourage him!” Whined Sam. “How can I fight a dragon with a cold?!” 

I left the group and headed over to Dorian to see what the hell was going on with him and Bull.

“A day off means you don't have lessons today.” Dorian tried to admonish when he saw me at the top of the stairs. I sighed and flopped down on the floor next to his chair and leaned my head on his knee. He looked down at me, concerned.

“What happened?”

“What's going on between you and Bull, Dorian?” I felt him tense beside me.

“Did he tell you something?” He asked timidly. The uncertainty in his voice is killing me, damn it.

“No, he didn't say anything don't worry. He'd never do something you don't want him to.”

“Ah so you already know there's something between us.” That came out as a statement rather than a question.

“Yeah, I know you like him.” He tried to whisper that he did not ‘like’ Bull but I shushed him.

“You know that's a load of shit, Dorian. You care for him more than you want to admit, to yourself most of all.” He crossed his arms and looked away. 

“Dorian, this isn't for me to say but he cares about you too. More so than you know. Yes, he may be loud and obnoxious sometimes and yeah, he may be a little too vocal about intimate details,” he made a disgusted sound at that and I smiled softly at him and made him look at me. 

“That's just his way of showing you that he cares about you and is proud that he's with you and wants the whole world to know it.” His features softened and he looked significantly younger and sadder at the same time. 

“Think on it, yeah?” He nodded and I kissed his cloth-covered knee and got up.

Then, a strike of genius hit me out of nowhere and I got the most brilliant idea ever. I turned to Dorian with a devilish grin.

“Hey, why don't you come by to the Herald’s Rest tonight? I think you'll have some fun.” He looked dubious at my sudden excitement but agreed anyway.

I almost tripped on my way to the tavern, running as fast as I can. It's still early if I can manage to convince Cabbot and Maryden, it would be so cool! I dragged Varric with me and explained my idea on the way and he agreed immediately, saying that this would be a great idea.

I couldn't agree more.


	10. Like a True Shipper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is my longest chapter yet and I was excited about it so I've written it sooner thab the usual update time.
> 
> Enjoy!

Varric and I managed to convince Cabbot of my idea, Maryden was excited about it actually. We decided that we make some announcements in the busiest parts of Skyhold that an event is being held tonight at The Herald’s Rest and by dinner all of the stronghold’s inhabitants would know. 

I had just finished pinning the announcement on the tavern’s door, when Sera’s voice startled me from behind.

“’Amateur Night’? Wos that supposed ta mean?” Her face was scrunched up in concentration like if she stared more intensely at the writing, it would make more sense. She's adorable.

“It means that anyone who wants to sing gets a chance to do so tonight! I'll be starting it off with some songs from home then whoever is up for it will be next and so on.” 

“Little people gettin’ a chance, yeah? I like that!” 

I managed to convince Leliana and Josephine to come and told them to drag Chantry Boy™ with them. Blackwall, Sera, Bull, Dorian and Varric were coming anyway so no efforts were wasted there. I convinced Solas to come just by saying I'll sing songs from my world. He thinks anything otherworldly is interesting. What a nerd. 

The problem, though, was that Maryden couldn't get the hang of the tunes of the songs I was gonna sing, so I was at a loss at what to do. 

“I can help.” I yelped and put my hand over my heart. Cole was going to give me a heart attack one of these days.

“Jesus Christ on a muffin, Cole! Give a girl a warning next time!” He cocked his head to the side.

“What girl?” 

“Nevermind, honey. Forget I said anything.” I waved it off and set my hands on my hips.

“You said you can help? With what?”

“Maryden can't play the instrument like I want. It lacks the rhythm, it lacks the connection, it lacks, it lacks, it lacks..” He fidgeted with his hands. “I can help with that.” 

“How?” I honestly don't know how Cole could help Maryden with that.

“I can play instead.” He said resolutely. I gaped at him. HE can play? Since when?

“Evangeline gave an instrument like the one Maryden uses to Rhys when we were in the circle. He taught me how to play. He said he used to play with one back at home.” He looked down sadly and I reached out and took his hand.

“And you will play for me tonight?” I tried to redirect the subject so he wouldn't be sad anymore. Poor Cole.

“Yes I will know what you need me to do because you will need help and I can help.” I leaned over and hugged him, I was so happy! He seemed at a loss at first but then hugged me back.

“Tonight will be perfect. You help me and I help others.” 

 

After dinner, everyone filed in the tavern for amateur night. It seemed like the entirety of Skyhold was here! The second floor was filled with people, it seemed like only Cole’s attic was empty.

Drinks were passed around and they put two chairs in Maryden’s place for Cole and I to sit in. Before we started, I pulled Bull to the side for a little chat. I motioned for him to lower his head and then grabbed him by the horns and looked him in the eye.

“Listen to me well, Bull.” I started, using my most authoritative voice. “I need you to do something for me tonight.”

“Name it.” 

“I need you to sit in a place in the front where I can see you AND in Dorian's line of sight where he can see you and you can see him clearly. Bonus points if you could sit next to him.” He looked highly confused but nodded anyway.

“Then I need you to pay extra close attention to Dorian once I start singing.” He furrowed his eyebrows at me.

“Why's that?”

“Trust me, you'll know when I start.” I let go of his horns and elbowed him and told him to get inside. 

Like the cunning Ben-Hassrath that he is, he made sure that Dorian sits next to him right in front of me. All I can say is god bless the agents that trained him. Amen.

All members of the inner circle, sans Vivienne, made it. Sam plus the advisers came shortly after, with Chantry Boy™ in tow looking like a deer in the headlights.  
They sat in chairs in front of me with Sam, Leliana, Josie, Cullen, Dorian and Bull in the front. Followed by Blackwall, Cassandra, Harding (yes she was there), Harrit and some other people I didn't know. Solas was leaning on the door and Sera was perched on a table. Varric was sitting at a table with a ledger and an inkwell and quill in front of him. The Chargers were milling about, too.

I sat on my chair and felt a bit nervous, then Cole came with the guitar/harp thingy and sat next to me and gave me a small smile. I smiled back and took a deep breath to calm my nerves. Get your shit together, Mikaela. This is not about you and your anxiety, this is about your friends. Dorian and Bull need you. You can do this.

“Hello everyone.” I waved weakly, earning a few chuckles. “I'm glad you could all make it tonight. I will start off Amateur Night with some songs from my home, then anyone who wants to sing is welcome to come and give it a try.” 

Once the crowd settled, I motioned to Cole to start playing and I was surprised at the accuracy of his notes. I was really impressed, really. He hit the notes perfectly each time. I exhaled and turned to my audience and raised my arms and started clapping along the tune, they got the hint quickly and soon there was a steady rhythm of music and clapping to help encourage me.

“I know a man with nothing in his hands, nothing but a rolling stone.

He told me about when his house burnt down, he lost everything he owned

He lay asleep for six hole weeks, they were gonna ask his mother to choose

When he woke up with nothing he said I'll tell you something

When you've got nothing, you've got nothing to lose

Now I've got a hole in my pocket, a hole in my shirt, a whole lot of trouble, he said

But now the money's gone, life carries on and I miss it like a hole in the head.”

I started stomping my feet lightly to the ground and closed my eyes. There was nothing there but the music. I let it engulf me and carry me somewhere else. The sensation brought memories of a music festival my uncle once took me to. It was a folk music festival, his favorite genre, and a lot of great bands were there. It was the best time of my life. I used to jokingly call it my Patronus memory when we talked about it. Then he was gone.

 

“I know a woman with kids around her ankles an a baby on her lap

She said one day her husband went to get a paper and the mother fucker never came back

Mortgage to pay and four kids to raise, keeping the wolf from the door

She said the wolf's just a puppy and the door's double locked so why you gotta worry me for

Now he left a hole in my heart a hole in a promise a hole on the side of my bed

Oh but now that he's gone well life carries on and I miss him like a hole in the head.” 

As the music changed a bit, I raised my hands and they stopped clapping. 

“Well sometimes you can't change and you can't choose

And sometimes it seems you gain less than you lose

Now we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives

Well we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on.”

I let them start clapping slowly again.

“Well we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives

Well we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

 

Said we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives

Well we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

 

Said we've got holes in our hearts, we've got holes in our lives

We've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

 

Said we've got holes in our hearts, we've got holes in our lives

We've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

 

Said we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives

Well we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on.” 

As the last note ended I opened my eyes again and they burst into loud applause. I blushed and smiled widely. Nothing like good old Passenger to get a crowd excited.

I motioned to them to bring it down a notch saying we're not done yet, and they quieted down. I looked over at Cole and nodded to him and over at Bull and gave him a small nod, just a heads up for what's coming up.

Cole started playing again, and the crowd immediately cheered at the quick tempo of the next song.

“When I was a kid the things I did were hidden under the grid

Young and naïve I never believed that love could be so well hid

With regret, I'm willing to bet, And say the older you get

It gets hard to forgive and harder to forget

It gets under your shirt like a dagger at work

The first cut is the deepest but the rest will flipping hurt

You build your heart of plastic 

You get cynical and sarcastic 

And end up being in a corner on your own.”

I watched Dorian twist his hands in his lap and look down, Bull watching him subtly from the corner of his eye. I'm getting a response. Good.

“Cause I'd love to feel the love but I can’t stand the rejection

I hide behind my jokes as a form of protection

I thought I was close but under further inspection

It seems I've been running in the wrong direction 

Oh no.” 

Dorian was resolutely not looking anywhere but his lap, like it was the most interesting specimen in the world. It seems like Bull caught on to what I was aiming at, because he glanced at me and then back at Dorian , then back at me. He raised his eyebrow then went back to subtly watch the myriad of emotions crossing poor Dorian's features.

“So what's the point in getting your hopes up

When all you're ever getting is choked up

And can't remember the reason why you broke up

You call her in the morning 

When you're coming down and falling 

Like an old man on the side of the road.

Cause I'd love to feel the love but I can’t stand the rejection

I hide behind my jokes as a form of protection

I thought I was close but under further inspection

It seems I've been running in the wrong direction 

Oh oh 

I'd love to feel the love but I can't stand the rejection 

I hide behind my jokes as a form of protection 

I thought I was close but under further inspection 

It seems I've been running in the wrong direction 

Oh no

It seems I've been running in the wrong direction oh oh.”

More clapping and cheering once the song ended. Some whistling from Sam, the idiot was grinning from ear to ear.

“Alright alright one last song you guys.” The noise subsided. “Now this last one is a love song for all you saps out here.” More laughter and whistling from several occupants of the room. I shushed them and nodded to Cole to start. I gave Bull a pointed look then closed my eyes.

“Come to me in the night hours 

I will wait for you.” 

More whistling. Such raucous, honestly. 

Dorian lifted his head up and looked at me.

“And I can't sleep

Cause thoughts devour

Thoughts of you consume.” 

I had Maryden doing the background “oooh” cause I needed to focus on the lyrics. Her voice is really beautiful!

“I can't help but love you

Even though I try not to

I can't help but want you 

I know that I'd die without you.”

Dorian was looking at Bull now, who in turn was looking openly at him. They seemed in their own little world, they were staring at each other like time stopped and there were just the two of them. I smirked and closed my eyes again.

“Stay with me a little longer 

I will wait for you.

Shadows creep

And want grows stronger

Deeper than the truth.

 

I can't help but love you

Even though I try not to

I can't help but want you

I know that I'd die without you.

 

I can't help but be wrong in the dark

Cause Im overcome in this war of hearts

I can't help but want oceans to part

Cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts.

 

I can't help but love you 

Even though I try not to

I can't help but want you

I know that I'd die without you.

I can't help but be wrong in the dark 

Cause I'm overcome in this war of hearts 

I can't help but want want oceans to part

Cause Im overcome in this war of hearts…”

 

As the last of the notes hit home and Maryden's vocals came to an end, I opened my eyes to find the crowd was eerily quiet. Dorian and Bull were still staring at each other like the rest of the world didn't exist. I reckon if Coryphefuck attacked right now, no one would give a shit.

The tavern erupted with a combination of loud applause, whistles, hooting and whooping. I laughed and curtsied before hugging Cole and thanking him for the help. He disappeared seconds after I turned.

Soon enough coin purses were being passed around and Varric looked like an avalanche just hit him. Looks like more than one bet was settled today. 

Leliana hooked her arm with mine and walked me to the bar. I sat with her, Josephine, Cullen and Blackwall and she ordered some drinks for us. I drank just Cranberry juice , thank you.  
She was impressed, said I could make it as a bard if I wanted to. I told her I was a shit liar and would get myself killed in my first event. Told them Varric says I'm as good at bluffing as the Commander. They laughed, except Cullen who was blushing and stammering that he was NOT that bad.

Solas came by to compliment me before he retired for the night, which meant the world to me. I mean how often does one have an ancient god come by and compliment them on their voice, hmm?

People took turns to sing and we discovered even more surprising talents tonight. Two recruits started a duet and their commanding officer joined in, freaking the life out of them, and soon after the rest of their unit joined in. A Templar and an Elven apostate, of all people, sang a song they knew from home. Apparently they were from a small village in the Marches. Interesting.

Before I retired for the night, Varric came to me with a coin purse and handed it over to me. 

“What's this?” I asked him, bouncing the the heavy purse in my hand.

“Your cut of the income of the bets.” He answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I get a cut?”

“Little Schemer, it may have escaped your notice but you single handedly put an end to the top three bets that were going on. You see the Seeker and our Sam anywhere?” I looked around and found them nowhere in sight.

“Maybe Tiny and Sparkler?” I looked around again to the same result.

“And the third one?” I asked when he didn't elaborate.

“We bet on if you had any hidden talents. Turned out you had two so far.”

“Singing and??”

“Scheming.” He deadpanned. “Don't think I didn't catch on to those looks you kept throwing at Tiny and Sparkler, or how the songs seemed chosen for a reason. You're dedicated, Schemer, I'll give you that.”

“Schemer?” I gasped , covering my mouth with hands. “That's my nickname? You gave me a nickname? Awww Varric, you're the best!” I hugged him quickly and bounced on my toes for a few seconds. He chuckled and went to get a drink.

I went back to my room escorted by the advisers and collapsed on my bed feeling tired as heck. I fell asleep almost immediately, didn't even need the drought.

Today was good, productive. 

Heh. Schemer, indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought I wouldn't use the most cliched troupe of Modern Girl in Thedas? I can't not add a singing scene into my fic, come on you guys let's be real, it's not an AU without the singing am I right?
> 
> By the way the songs I used here are:  
> Holes by Passenger  
> The Wrong Direction by Passenger   
> War of Hearts by Ruelle


	11. One Heck Of A Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm late, I started a new playthrough yesterday and got busy cleaning up the Hinterlands like " I know it's 3 am but the region isn't going to stabilize itself MOM"
> 
> Lol anyway enjoy the chapter and lemme know what you think!

The three weeks that followed Amateur Night were mainly uneventful. Sam left for Emprise Du Lion two days after, taking Bull, Solas and Sera with him. I spent my mornings with Dorian, whose mood has brightened considerably after the night at the tavern, and we resumed our lessons. Afternoons were spent with Blackwall, who complemented me on my progress with wooden figurines. I'm proud to say I have carved a cat out of a block of wood. Well when I say cat I mean an animal whose features are primarily feline. Sort of a mutant cat/lizard. But I am proud of it.

The only downside to not having Bull and Solas around is that I had to interact with a certain Iron Lady. Shudder. And to make it worse, I was sitting in the garden, on the grass, making little houses of clay with Cole. You can imagine how I looked like. Hint: not at all good.

Now I have never, in my whole life, been looked at with so much disdain. Not even that time in middle school when Mr. Baker, the history teacher, found me face planted in the dumpster near the school that one time Troy Mcandrews and his friends thought they were hilarious and decided that throwing me in the dumpster was the funniest thing ever. Now Mr. Baker was never a fan of mine but that's a story for another time.

She commented that ‘a young lady my age should know better than to play like a child’ and the cherry on top ‘with an abomination at that’. I just smiled. With teeth. You know that kind of smile that says “I've tolerated you enough, get the fuck out of my face.”? Yeah and she got the message and strutted away, yeah strutted cause you know Vivienne De Fer doesn't walk like yo average citizen. 

After that first encounter I kinda avoided her, and when I say ‘kinda’ I mean completely and unashamedly. 

Anyway, two weeks later Sam came back from the Emprise with a glorious cold and a pink nose. I got hugs from him and Bull, a nod from Solas (ever the affectionate individual) and a punch on the arm from Sera. That girl hits hard.

I commented on Sam’s pink nose and jokingly called him a baby Nug, he was not happy about it. Varric took it upon himself to call him the Nugquisitor at every possible opportunity earning glares from the man himself.

We fell back into the old routine soon enough. I felt like I could contribute more, so I talked to Leliana and asked her for a job. 

“You want to work?” 

“Well, yeah. Everyone is working and if I'm gonna live here from now on then I'll have to get a job some day, so the sooner the better.”

“Alright. I'll see what I can do.” I thanked her and went to wash my clothes.

That's why a week later, meaning today, I found myself at the Herald’s Rest being informed on the different things I had to do around the tavern. I was to clean the floor and other surfaces, help Cabbot with cleaning mugs and stuff and help the kitchen servants with distributing meals and serving drinks. No touching/mixing/playing with the alcohol, which was fine by me. I get to hang out with Bull, the Chargers and Sera. Cole would always be around. This should be fun!

Update : it's fucking hard. It's two hours past midnight now and I'm still scrubbing the floor. It was some punk’s coming of age party or whatever and several people couldn't handle their alcohol and ended up showing us what they had for dinner. Guess who had to clean the puke? Yes, me. Yay.

Other than my unfortunate experience on my first day, I learned a couple of things today. For one, Krem does not actually live on that chair. Shocking, right? Seems like the Chargers have their own living space somewhere near the smithy. Second thing I found about was that Sam had actually sneezed while taunting a red templar and Sera laughed so hard, Solas had to cover for her cause she couldn't shoot anyone.

The highlight of my day, though, was when I was serving these three mages and suddenly everyone stopped talking. I looked around to see what caused the abrupt lack of the beehive noise, because honestly they sounded like one, and saw two very tall figures standing in the doorway. Two very Qunari looking figures.

I've heard about the two mercenaries arriving today, people talked non-stop about it. Apparently they were from Valo-Kas, the mercenary company that Adaar inquisitors work in and they came to work for the Inquisition instead of doing mercenary jobs. They were twins, that was the shock factor, cause you don't see many Qunari to begin with and certainly not twins! The girl was a mage and the boy was a warrior. They looked young, too.

I took one look at them and abandoned what I was doing and went straight to them, not that the mages I was serving noticed mind you. I was very tiny compared to them but they weren't as huge as Bull, though.

“Hello!” I did the wave thing and they looked wary. “Would you like to sit down?” The man nodded and I motioned for them to follow me. I had them sit down somewhere within Bull’s earshot, and the tiny nod I received told me he appreciated that. Shit, I forgot Bull didn't like the Vashoth. Well he's gonna learn how to since he's gonna be one soon. He better.

The crowd was back to the usual raucous as they lost interest in the new comers fairly quickly.I told Cabbot I'm taking a break for dinner and I'll need extra servings for my guests and he said their meals were going to be cut from my payment. Damn, that Cabbot is a jackass. I nodded and took the tray and two ales and set them on the table. 

“On the house.” I told them and started to dig in. They hesitated for a minute before I gave them the Look™ and they started eating. Good. Bull says when I look at someone like that it means that I'm not moving until they do as I say. Blackwall has been on the receiving end of this look way too many times, works like a charm.

I engaged them in conversation once they started to relax a bit and found out a few things about them. Their names were Hissera (the girl) and Meraad (the guy) Tamari. They were born in Antiva city where their parents were hiding from the Qun(I knew their accent was a bit different, though now I could see the Antivan influence more clearly). They found members of Valo-Kas on an assignment there and they and asked for work. They met the leader of the company and worked for Valo-Kas ever since. They were killed at the conclave, though, and the twins had no one else. Meraad was sick of working as a mercenary and heard a merchant saying the Inquisition were always hiring capable warriors if they proved themselves worthy and loyal. He, along with Hissera, went to the to one of the Inquisition camps in the Hinterlands to seek employment and found them under attack by bears (a fucking nightmare, those bears are) and immediately leapt in to assist them. After the skirmish the lieutenant told them if they wanted employment then they should head to Skyhold and talk to someone under Commander Rutherford, if not the man himself. 

I also found out that Hissera was a huge Fade nerd. Seriously though, once she found out I was the weirdo that came from beyond the Fade, she kept gushing about how interesting the Fade is and kept babbling about different theories on how the Fade is connected to different worlds. I really think she's onto something, though. Oh turns out she's pro-spirits, too. 

“So here's the deal guys.” I put my hands on the table and lowered my voice, when Meraad elbowed his sister to make her shut up about the Fade. “I can tell you are good, honest people and you want to be with the Inquisition and help people, so here are a few things that will help you.” They both straightened up and paid attention.

“There are three people you need to impress if you want to stick around, Sister Nightingale is the first and foremost important one to impress, the Commander is a close second and then you have The Iron Bull,” they flinched at the mention of Bull, so they knew he was the shit. “who I assume you already know, given your reaction.”

“He has a… reputation.” Answered Meraad

“Yes, well, he won't kill you unless you ask for it, he's not a monster y’know.” They nodded.

“Now, if the three higher ups approve of you then you landed yourselves jobs for the foreseeable future. Meraad, you can work with The Commander’s forces, seeing as you're clearly a skilled warrior. Hissera, though I know just who to introduce you to.” I grinned and she looked confused.

“There's an elven mage here called Solas that you will absolutely love. He's the most experienced mage we have” I put an emphasis on experienced, my own little inside joke. “And he's an even bigger enthusiast about the Fade than yourself.” She positively beamed at that, and the more I told her about Solas , the more excited she looked. Definitely gonna introduce her to Solas.

“Now I must ask you guys a few things. There's a spirit of compassion here that goes by Cole and he is very dear to me. You don't have a problem with spirits do you, Meraad?” I specifically asked him cause asking Hissera would be dumb.

“No.” 

“Good. There's also a Tevinter Altus who happens to be my friend and I would kill you if you do anything against him.” I warned and Meraad smiled, actually smiled at the warning. He looked really amused at the prospect of me, a tiny twig of a human, taking on a huge ass Qunari.

“As long as he is with the Inquisition, it means that he is good. Tevinter or not.” He assured me.

I nodded and proceeded to talk about other members of the Inquisition, before Cabbot came and yelled at me for taking too long. Jesus that man had some strong ass lungs. I told the twins I would see them later and passed by Bull, punched him on the arm and told him to be nice to them, before scurrying off to serve some of the Chargers. 

Now, though, I finished cleaning up the mess those assholes did to the floor and stumbled out of the tavern, leaving a servant that was still in the kitchen to close up.

I was so tired, I barely even paid attention to where I was going, trusting my legs to remember the way to my room. As I rounded the corner, I stumbled on something large and solid and fell face first into the ground with a thud.

“Maker’s breath, are you alright?” Came the concerned voice of the Commander.

“Ugh god, I'm fine, I'm fine, don't worry your pretty noodle head over it, Cullen.” He let out a breathless chuckle as he helped me up. Then it hit me. This is Cullen. Fucking hell, I just called the Commander of the Inquisition’s forces a pretty noodle head. Oh the embarrassment.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Sorry, Commander, I didn't mean to call you a noodle head.” I apologized and pulled on my lower lip.

“It's quite alright, Mikaela. I've heard worse from Varric.” He gave me a lopsided smile and I smiled back.

“So umm what brings you here at the dead of night, commander? Out for a stroll in the starlight?” 

“Unfortunately, no. I… I couldn't sleep.” Shit. I forgot about the withdrawal. I could see now how there were dark circles under his eyes and he looked a lot more tired than he should be.

“Do they hurt that much? The headaches, I mean.” He closed his eyes for a second and his shoulders hunched a bit.

“Of course you know about the withdrawal.” He said, mostly to himself and told me not to worry about him, he'll be fine it's just a small headache.

“Tell you what, Commander.” My tone was far too cheerful for such a situation, but I needed to distract him and not make him feel worse than he already is. “If you come with me now, I'll steal bread and butter from the kitchen and we'll do something fun.” I did my best impression of a cheshire cat and Cullen chuckled and muttered about inconvenience. I dragged him by the hand to the kitchens with a “Come on, Commander. It'll be fun!”

I stole two loaves of bread, some butter, and found half an apple pie hidden with the bread. Someone thought they were smart. Someone should think again. 

I took Cullen to a secluded part of the ramparts I discovered a while ago, when I was hiding from Bull. Long story short he wanted to see my underwear. Don't ask why.

We sat down and I made him eat, I knew for a fact that he forgot about dinner again since Cassandra was dining with Sam and didn't drag him by the collar to eat.

While he was eating, I went to a corner and took a handful of tiny rocks and went back to where he sat. He furrowed his eyebrows when he looked at the rocks and I wiggled my eyebrows. 

“This is the fun part, Commander.” He looked like wants to say something but I held my hand up and he promptly shut his mouth with a click.

“Now, now, as it is past your bedtime, you're not officially on duty, right?” He narrowed his eyes at me, still holding a piece of bread.

“What are you going to do?”

“Just watch me, commander.” 

I tiptoed over and looked down at the patrol below. I motioned to Cullen to come over, and he came and crouched beside me. I took one of the tiny rocks and threw it so it landed a little away from where they were walking, causing a noise. They immediately were in a fighting stance and it took me a ginormous amount of will power not to outright laugh at their scared cat response. 

“Stop harassing the poor recruits!” Cullen hissed from beside me.

“Shhh. Here try it.” I handed him a rock but he didn't throw it. I rolled my eyes and whispered a “come oooon.” He conceded and threw the rock, albeit reluctantly. It landed further away from mine and caused the recruits to jump again and one of them yelled a “who's there?” 

I saw Cullen bite his lip to stop himself from smiling and I elbowed him in the ribs. “’Tis fun, yeah?” He commented on how I started to sound alarmingly like Sera but agreed anyway.

We continued ‘harassing’ several other patrols until it was dawn and he realized that he kept me up after a rough night at my first job. I assured him it was fine and he escorted me back to my room and thanked me for the distraction. Said it's been a long time since he acted as anything other than a soldier with a duty. I told him he was welcome anytime he felt like it and promised him more fun and stolen food.

I collapsed on my bed and hit the snooze mode instantly. This was some night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meraad means Tide and Hissera means Hope, I totally made up their last name though lol


	12. What The Hell Is Going On??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings from the grave! I have died from a heatstroke and now posting from my set up in my grave lol

Today was the weirdest day of my life, and I'll explain to you why. Let's start at the very first waking moments, cause that's where the weirdness started…

I was woken up by a servant, saying they needed me in the war room. I blinked, several times, and her pointed look told me that this wasn't a misunderstanding or even a prank. What the hell is going on? They can't have finished preparing for the Arbor Wilds! That shit would take at least a month or two!

She gave me a wrapped bundle and told me to dress up and go to the war room as soon as possible, then left the room. I stared at the bundle and furrowed my eyebrows and decided that I should open it. I sat on the bed and proceeded to open the wrapping and see what's inside. My eyes widened at the sight, these were clothes. Fine quality clothes. The shit you would see proper nobles wearing. The fuck do they want me to do with this?

The servant’s words came floating back to my mind. Dress up, she said. Fucking hell, do they expect me to wear a fucking DRESS?

The contents of the suspicious bundle included two dresses, one green with a simple design, obviously made for everyday use. The other was more fancy looking, dark brown with long sleeves that reached mid-thigh in its length, sort of like the one the ladies in Lord of the Rings were wearing. The chest was embroidered with gold in a pattern of thin braids that traced the wide cut of the chest and the high waist line, leaving the skirt cascading down in tresses. I was in awe of the dress, pretty sure I was gaping openly. I'm not sure I'll wear this, I'll make it look bad! It requires boobs and I don't have much of that, plus the whole graceful aura of the dress was going to be lost on me.

I huffed and carefully folded the garment back and looked at the other contents. Black leggings,navy blue breeches, and three tunics, one black, one wine red and one sapphire blue. Didn't think I knew the fancy color names, did you?

The tunics were absolutely my favorites, they were functional and fitting and comfortable. I pulled the black leggings on and the sapphire tunic. I thought I looked good enough, but there were no mirrors to confirm. I hastily combed my hair to make it look decent, I had a feeling something fishy was up but I had to look good anyway.

  
I made my way to the main hall and waved my greetings to the people I came to know from working at the tavern. It's been a week and a half since I started working and met quite a lot of people. They were really friendly, I didn't expect they'd warm up to me this fast. It's probably the fact that I serve them ale that they've been welcoming.

Meraad was preparing to spar with Krem who, according to Meraad himself, would seek him out every morning to spar and ‘talk’. He's pretty sure Bull just sent Krem to sniff him out, but he doesn't mind, says Krem is a good sparring partner.

After our meeting at the tavern I met up with the twins every day and became fast friends with Hissera. Meraad, though, was a bit stiff around me, but his sister assured me that this is as friendly as he can get and she was surprised that he actually smiles with me. The twins did a wonderful job when the bosses put them on trial mode. Cullen was impressed by Meraad’s skills and said he'd get even better by the time his training was over. For Hissera’s skill test, I gathered the mage quartet to observe her ; Solas, Dorian, Vivienne and Fiona. It was a lot like when someone applies for a scholarship, they tested her in magical history, theory, elemental and healing magic. According to Solas, she was quite proficient in magical theory and healing magic, which was a glowing testimony of talent. They decided that Solas would take over her magical theory lessons, plus Fade fangirling, Fiona would take over magical history, Dorian would take elemental and Vivienne would take healing. Since she was a promising apprentice, they gave her each three sessions a week for the foreseeable future. I can tell this is going to be some sort of competition between the four mages to see who's the best mentor.

I hollered a “good morning” at the boys and got a small smile from Meraad and a whistle from Krem.

“Like what you see, Aclassi?”

“I sure do, Missy.” He winked. “Can I convince you to get a drink with me later?”

“Nope!” I replied cheerfully and he feigned hurt.

“You break my heart, Milady!”

“You'll get over it.” I giggled and left him. This has been a daily occurrence since Amateur Night. He would flirt and I would wave him off, all in good fun.

I went straight to the War Room after grabbing a loaf of bread and a mug of tea, I won't starve just because they want a meeting!

The guard outside the door let me in, and I was startled to see all the inner circle members, plus Morrigan, sans Cole, were already there. Morrigan, I've met once in passing but I was scared as fuck and didn't approach her ever again. Her eyes, man, her eyes, they're so sharp and it's creepy!

“Finally.” Exclaimed Cullen from his place next to Josie. I made a face at him and shuffled over to stand next to Dorian.

“What's this about, then?” I took a gulp of tea, and immediately regretted it. This has far less sugar than my usual fix. Dorian took it from me and handed it over to Blackwall, who happily sipped the brew.

I munched on a piece of bread and waited for an explanation. Once Josephine and Vivienne stopped talking in low voices, Josie turned to the rest of us.

“Today someone of the closest people to Empress Celene will arrive for a weeklong visit to Skyhold.” Oh for the love of all things holy, a noble? That's what it's about? Josie must have guessed my thoughts because she hastily continued talking.

“This is no ordinary nobleman. This man is of the highest importance to the Empress and a very valuable ally to the Inquisition.” She motioned to Morrigan to take over, who inclined her head and clasped her fingers together.

“Marquis de Chevin is one of Celene’s closest allies. He makes up the Northern Host of her supporters, so ‘tis of utmost importance to gain his favor for the Inquisition.”

“The Marquis is a dear friend of House Ghislain and a formidable player of the game, so to gain his favor, one must be on one's best behavior and must have a knowledge of the inner workings of the game.” Vivienne took over and directed most of the directions to Sera and myself. The bitch. I'll have her know that I gained 100% approval on a Qunari Inquisitor in the Winter Palace! I'll fucking kick that fancy Marquis’ ass in the Game.

The rest of the meeting was pointless, as people were just saying the same things over and over again, he's super important, we must behave, we must impress him, blah blah blah.

Before they concluded the meeting, they said I was to wear the fancy dress and get myself ready to be in the welcoming party when he arrives this afternoon. I am to stick with Dorian, Bull, Sera, Cole and Solas. Aka the misfits. Varric was a famous storyteller and could charm the pants off that Marquis if he wanted, so no worries there. Blackwall was a warden, Cassandra a Seeker of Truth and the Right Hand of the late Divine and Vivienne was Vivienne.

Blackwall dragged me out of the War Room and took me to his shed for a stern talking to. No pranking with Sera and Cullen, yes he knows about the few times I stole Cullen to scare the recruits. Sera was furious that no one knows the mystery prankster and she promised to out prank him. No clay houses with Cole, no rides on Bull’s shoulders, no snide remarks thrown at ‘unfashionable’ people with Dorian and certainly no flirting with Krem at least until the Marquis leaves. Also no tavern work, as I am considered one of the inner circle of the Inquisitor and it would look bad.

I went to see poor Sam after promising Blackwall to come by when I'm all dressed up, says he has something for me. I found him sulking on the ramparts after half an hour of searching. I dropped down next to him and gave him a nudge.

“You okay there, buddy?”

“No.”  
“What's wrong?” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“They want either Cassie or Leliana to be divine.” Awwww oh my god poor Sam, I totally forgot about this.

“Oh Sam.” I linked my arm with his and leaned my head on his shoulder.

“You already know, don't you?”

“Yes.” I whispered.

“Is she..” He took a deep breath. “Is she going to become Divine?”

“It's a possibility.” I felt him nod.

“She wants to.” He said after a long moment of silence. “Become Divine, I mean. She wants to make a difference, I can't fault her for that. But the mere thought of losing her…” He clenched his fists and opened them.

“I am helpless, Mikaela, and it's killing me.” He whispered. I looked up at him and found his eyes shining with unshed tears. My heart twisted at the sight. He deserves to be happy, damn it!

“Come here.” I opened my arms and gestured to him to come closer. He draped his arms around me and put his head in the crook of my neck. I felt him stiff with suppressed emotions and stroked his back and whispered reassurances in his ear. I kissed his hair and felt wetness on my neck and tears threatened to fall over the sensation. He was crying. The man who carried the fate of the world in his hand, the one who endured such hardships that no man should endure, was reduced to a trembling, broken mess over the thought of losing the woman he loves and it broke my heart.

After a while the shaking stopped and he started taking deep breaths. I smoothed his hair back and told him I'd fix it for him, no matter what it took. Even sucking up to Vivienne. He chuckled and silently thanked me with a bear hug that made me remember Garrett. God I miss that idiot.

“Come on, your Inquisitorialness. We have a noble prick to prepare for.” He groaned and took my hand and pulled me up with him.

After lunch I went to the rotunda to annoy Solas and found Hissera there for her lessons. I didn't want to be a nuisance so I sat on the couch and played with the vials that he left. After the lesson, Hissera and I talked for a while before Solas, ever the stick in the mud, interrupted us.

“I believe you have some preparing to do. Warden Blackwall is waiting for you after all.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“Yes, dad.” He blinked twice and I was confused at his reaction at first then I realized what I called him and my eyes widened. I looked over at Hissera, she looked like her favorite tv show was on, and back at Solas. We stared at each other awkwardly for a few seconds then I cleared my throat.

“I should umm… I should probably go now.”

“Right.”

“I'll be late.”

“Of course.”

“’Kay, bye.” I fucking fled. I just called Solas dad. This was the great Fen’Harel, elven trickster god of Arlathan, most powerful mage to ever mage,and I called him dad. Dad.

I went to my room and tried to get distracted by my fuck up and instead focused on getting ready. As delicately as I could, I took the pretty chocolate brown dress from it's wrapping and placed it on the bed. I stripped down to my undies and opened the laces on the back and slipped into the dress. It was a perfect fit, except for one problem. I can't tie the back laces.

I decided to get help from the girl in the room next to mine, Ellana was her name, cheerful Dalish elf, she is.

I poked my head to see if there is anyone around and was met by an empty hallway. Good. I shuffled over to her door and knocked. She worked in the laundry room and often took the garments that needed mending to her room. Seconds later, the door opened and I was greeted by a head of golden curls.

“Mikaela! What are you doing here!” She exclaimed with a wide smile.

“Fucking move over I need your help.”

She happily complied and started tying my laces. God bless her soul, she never took it to heart when I swore. Always helpful, always cheerful.

When she was done, I thanked her and ran barefoot to the rookery to find Leliana.

I bumped into Dorian and he commented on the dress, saying I looked better than Celene herself. The flatterer.

“Dorian, is Sister Leliana in the rookery?” I asked urgently.

“Yes, I believe she is, why?” I raised the skirt of the dress to reveal my wiggling toes and whispered “shooooooes.” He gasped and pushed me towards the rookery.

I found Leliana pouring over some reports. She looked up when I approached her and had a small smile on her face. I did the little wave and a small ‘hello’ and she told me to follow her. Confused, I followed her down the stairs until we reached her room.

“I know you came to me for shoes. I'm impressed. I expected you to not care for the shoe part of the attire, or at least go to Josie.”

“No one has better taste in shoes than you, lady Nightingale.” She chuckled and shook her head.

“Madame de Fer was wrong about you. You'll have no trouble with the Marquis.” I smiled innocently and she shook her head again and muttered “schemer, indeed.”

After taking care of the shoe problem, I wobbly made my way to the stables. I was not cut for heels. I found Blackwall waiting for me. He lend me his arm and led me to a chair.

“Stay still I'm going to do your hair.” My head whipped around to look at him.

“You? Do my hair?” He raised an unimpressed eyebrow at me and turned me back around and started combing my hair.

“Liddy always made me do her hair when we were children. She made me learn all kinds of styles so she would look the prettiest.” I smothered a laugh. I had a hard time trying to imagine a young Blackwall playing hairdresser with his sister.

It took him a while but when he finished, he gave me a piece of mirror to look at myself. I looked different, beautiful even. He styled my hair in braids that went around my head and he'd incorporated flowers in them! At my awed look he told me that Cole was the one who came up with the flowers idea and even picked them himself! Holy shit Cole is getting one hell of a hug when I see him. I hugged Blackwall and he smoothed the crinkles I made in the dress when I let him go and told me to go wait with Dorian.

The welcome itself was fairly formal. They didn't even introduce me, thank fuck, and instead they sent him and his ginormous entourage to the guest rooms to rest.

After dinner, I slipped back into my tunic and boots cause ya know dresses are hell and heels are satanic. I went to the garden to get some fresh air and went to sit on a bench when I heard muffled noises.

I went to investigate and the noise led me to the little deserted room where the statue of Andraste was. The sight that greeted me was far from what one would expect to see in fromt of a fucking statue of Andraste!

A man was pressing a woman to the wall right next to the statue and was doing it. You know it. I was horrified. What sick fucker was doing the frackle in front of poor Andraste. As if what happened to her when she was alive wasn't enough, she'd have to witness this too.

“What the FUCK!” I exclaimed and backed the fuck away and ran. Worst thing I've had to witness. Jesus christ this was disgusting. I went back to the Main Hall and ran out the door, all the way outside till I bumped into someone. I looked up to see Meraad frowning. Don't worry that's his natural state.

“Are you alright?” He asked looking me over for injuries. I was still disgusted so I wasn't having it.

“I'm fucking not alright!” I yelled at him and he was taken aback.

“Jesus Christ of all the places.. The had the gall, the gall, to do it in front of Andraste! I can't believe… People are so gross like what the fuck??” I was breathing heavily by the time I finished ranting.

“What did they do?” He asked me calmly.

“Ugh they did the do.”

“Did the what?” He was really confused.

“Ughhh you know frickle frackled.”

“Huh?”  
  
“THEY WERE HAVING SEX IN FRONT OF FUCKING ANDRASTE!” I yelled and his eyes widened before a disgusted grimace took over.

“Why would people even…”

“I know like they're supposed to worship her or whatever.”

“No I meant the sex. I don't understand the appeal, and to do it In such a carnal way in front of a statue of a religious figure..” The rest of his words were mumbled but I wasn't paying attention. What did he say? ‘I don't understand the appeal’?

“You don't understand the appeal of what? Sex?”

“Yes. People make it seem like a great deal . I've tried it. It doesn't appeal to me like people think it would.” He frowned, confused. He's asexual. And he doesn't understand the fuss about sex. Oh my god I want to give him a hug.

“That means you're Asexual.” His frown deepened. “We have people like that back home. You don't feel sexual attraction to individuals, right?” He seemed to think on it for a second.

“Can't say I have.”

“There you go, then. It's completely normal don't worry.”

We spent the rest of the evening discussing sexuality here and back on Earth, and gender equality and feminism. He seemed very open minded for a Qunari. He took everything I ranted about in and offered his own opinion. It was a very welcomed distraction from the atrocity that I witnessed.

I think I need a drought to help me sleep.


	13. The Deep Rooted Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, family drama was happening. Have an emotional roller coaster of a chapter for the wait :)

_she walked the length of the corridor with baited breath, knowing what she would find at the end of it. The floorboards creaked under her bare feet, adding to her increasing dread. She reached the door at the end of the corridor and found it slightly ajar. She pushed the door open and her breath hitched in her throat. There was her mother's corpse in a bath of blood. It always started like this and she always knew it was a dream, but she couldn't help the scream that tore out of her. The scene changed to the living room and the sound of a ringing phone broke the silence. She approached the phone and looked at the caller ID, but she already knew who it would be. She answered the phone with hey uncle Jesse, but it wasn't her uncle that answered. Miss I am sorry to inform you that there has been an accident. The police officer on the sight answered instead. The owner of this phone didn't make it. She sank to the ground, still holding the phone, and cried, and cried and cried. The scene changed back to her mother's funeral. Her father has drunk himself to a stupor again and was breaking her mother's china dishes in the kitchen. She called for him to stop but he continued shouting and breaking whatever he could see. She approached him slowly and tried to make him stop by placing her hand on his arm. He turned and grabbed her by the hair, and she let out a surprised scream. He hit her on her stomach first, making her whimper and fall to the ground. He kicked her while she was down, then pulled her back by her hair. He never liked it when she resisted and would always hit harder when she did. The scene then changed to her time in the Fade. Alistair was arguing with Garrett about who would stay. Sam chose Alistair and she felt the air go out her lung. Garrett had to hold her back to stop her from going forward to Alistair. Sweet, gentle Alistair kissed her hair and left them to sacrifice himself. She felt hollow at the realization that she'd never see him again. He'd never know his mother. He didn't even get to see Solona before he died._

_The scene changed again to something new, something she'd never dreamed of before now. Skyhold. She was in the main hall but it was empty, ruined and blood was everywhere. She felt her mouth go dry at the dreadful sight before her eyes. What happened here? She made her way forward, wading through the debris, to get to the door of the hall. She pushed through and descended the great stairs. She stopped short at the foot of the stairs with a gasp. No, no, no, no!  In front of her lay the corpses of her friends. She saw Solas and Cole, Dorian and Bull and Krem, Sam and Cass and Blackwall and Varric, Sera and Maryden and Hissera and Meraad, Leliana, Cullen and Josie. She screamed and screamed, shaking the bodies one by one and begging them to wake up. Then, she saw his body a little away from the others, holding a red sash, her red sash, in his bloodied hand. She felt like someone had just punched the air out of her lungs. Not him, please god not him. She kneeled before Garrett's corpse and gently cupped his bearded cheek. She leaned down and pulled his body in her lap and held him close. Soon enough she was screaming out in agony again. _

 

With a scream, I woke up to hands shaking my body and a familiar voice calling my name. I closed my eyes and breathed heavily and tried to calm the tremors in my body. Once I was 'stable' enough, I opened my eyes to see Solas, of all people, sitting on the side of my bed, and Cole fidgeting behind him.

 

"I'm sorry." I whispered looking at him and Cole in turn. "I didn't mean to wake you up." It was still dark outside which meant it's not even dawn yet and I woke them up. Well Cole doesn't sleep anyway and he probably woke Solas but it doesn't matter.

 

"No, da'len. Do not say that." Cole came around to sit on my other side and I held his hand and whispered "thank you." 

 

 

 _"The hurt was stronger, deeper, shaking my very foundations. Please let it be just a dream, please don't let them die, please please please.."_ His tone went frantic and he started shaking. Tears were shining in his eyes and stinging mine. I squeezed his hand and told him it's okay. 

 

"I could hear the hurt louder than any time before, I couldn't help so I went to Solas but he couldn't help either. I want to help. I want to make your hurt go away." I pulled him for a brief hug and gave him a small smile that didn't reach my eyes. 

 

"No one can help, Cole. But that's okay, I can handle it, I'll be fine." I tried to make my tone reassuring but Cole looked really upset and disappeared without warning. I sighed and looked at Solas.

 

"I apologize for troubling you, ha'hren. Please, don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

 

"I always worry for you, emm'asha." He leaned over and kissed my forehead and rose to leave. I felt a small smile tug at my lips at the endearment but it was soon gone.

 

 

 

Some days, something would happen and trigger my depression. Days like that are the worst days in my life. I'd be reduced to a walking corpse, won't eat until I am forced and it would take a miracle to get me to smile. 

 

Today was one of those days. The nightmare triggered it and with a trigger like that it would be a long time before I came back to normal. 

 

Something like this has happened before after I came to Skyhold. It was very close to a communal freakout and it would've been hilarious if I wasn't so depressed. They said I looked like I was blighted or something, well Sera did and got a glare from every single person in main hall. They never let me have a minute alone that time. I'd always be with someone or the other, but always Cole would be holding my hand and walking with me wherever I went. They decided that he'd be my constant companion in this kind of days.

 

Cole reappeared to take me to breakfast and I felt the tension in the main hall as I entered. When I looked at the faces of the people 'sitting' there having breakfast, I knew, _I knew,_ Solas had told them. Everyone was extra cheerful, they were talking more than the usual and Cullen even told a joke, I shit you not, he _joked_. I didn't know he had it in him. 

 

After breakfast, Cole dragged me to go play Wicked Grace with Varric, all I did was stare on the table. Varric gave up after the third time I zoned out and he told Cole that Blackwall had something to show me. When we got there, we were greeted with blocks of wood and carving knives and he said we would carve animals today. He even let Cole have a block and a knife, not that Cole knew what to do with it, mind you. I took one look at the kinfe and dropped it like it was burning my hand. An anxious Blackwall sent us, then, to Solas in hopes he'd do better. 

 

On our way, we passed by the training ring and found Krem was sparring with Meraad again. Meraad had proved himself to Bull, but Krem was enjoying the sparring so they kept it up.

when Krem saw me being dragged by Cole, he gestured to Meraad to stop and came to us.

 

"Shit, you look bad today." I raised my eyebrow, which is the most emotion you could get out of me instead of an impassive face.

 

"Your flirting is getting sloppy, Aclassi." 

 

"You know what I mean, Missy." I sighed and looked at Meraad who was approaching us with a frown.

 

"What's wrong? You look like a Tranquil." I forgot how blunt Meraad could be sometimes and almost smiled at his remark.

 

"This is just one of her days." Krem replied to him when it seemed like I wouldn't.

 

"One of her days? Are you saying her cycle does that?" Krem blanched and I couldn't help the little startled laugh that came out. 

 

"It's not her cycle, you oaf!" Krem hissed and I decided to save him the trouble.

 

"I have sad days." Was all I said in explanation. He just nodded like it made perfect sense to him.

 

"I'm going over to Solas now, but I want to hug you." I said and Cole let go of me so I can go hug Krem. He whispered "we're here for you" in my ear before he let go. I nodded at him and turned to Meraad.

 

"What?" He asked in confusion.

 

"I want a hug from you too." I raised my hands, which seemed tiny compared to his massive ones and he bent down to lift me up in a hug. I suddenly remembered the memes I used to see on Tumblr about the tol and smol otp prompts and I blushed, suddenly thankful that he couldn't see it. He let me down and I told them I'd see them later and went to see Solas.

 

He was working on the mural, when we entered the rotunda. He rose and came to see us and Cole said he'd leave us alone and disappeared. Solas motioned for me to sit on the couch and he sat next to me. He asked me if I had any questions today or wanted to talk about anything in particular. I told him he could talk about anything he wanted I'm not feeling picky today. So he talked about some of the places he visited in his dreams and I closed my eyes trying to imagine them. I felt his hand on my shoulder and opened my eyes to find him had scooted further away from me to the edge of the couch and then he pulled me so I laid sideways on the couch with my head on his lap. He had stopped talking about his dreams and started combing my hair with long fingers. At first I heard a hum but then I could make out the words he was saying.

  
_Elgara_ _vallas_ , _da'len_  
_Melava_ _somniar_

  
_Mala_ _taren_ _aravas_  
_Ara_ _ma'desen_ _melar_

  
_Iras_ _ma_ _ghilas_ , _dales_  
_Ara_ _ma'nedan_ _ashir_

  
_Dirthara_ _lothlenan'as_  
_Bal_ _emma_ _mala_ _dir_

  
_Tel'enfenim_ , _da'len_  
_Irassal_ _ma_ _ghilas_

  
_Ma_ _garas_ _mir_ _renan_  
_Ara_ _ma'athlan_ _vhenas_  
_Ara_ _ma'athlan_ _vhenas_

 

When he finished the lullaby, I looked up at him. 

 

"Wasn't that Dalish?" I saw him smirk before looking down at me.

 

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, da'len." I felt a smile tug at my lips. He's probably so smug right now. Yeah god of rebellion, my ass. If only the Evanuris could see him now.

 

Four days passed without any improvement. I was starting to make people depressed too. Bull offered me a ride and I turned it down, causing the Qunari to frown deeply. It was getting uncomfortable in the main hall. I wondered if it was the same as eating with a Tranquil.

 

I was in the stable with Cole, tending to some of the horses when he tugged at my sleeves urgently. I was startled but I couldn't ask him because he started dragging me with him. He was basically running and I had to keep up ir else I'd fall flat on my face. He took me to the main gate where a group of people already gathered. Cole and I waded through the crowd until we reached the front. I saw Cullen and Josie there. Varric was talking to someone but I couldn't see who it was because someone was blocking my view. Cole pushed me forward and as I neared them I could see just who it was. 

 

"Garrett!" I called with wide eyes. I couldn't believe he was back.

 

"Mika!" He bellowed and I ran to him as he made his way to me. He caught me in his massive arms and spun me around. I held onto him with all my might. I held him for so long and was concentrated on repeating _he's back, he's back, he's back_ in my mind that I didn't even realize I was crying until his hand cradled my head and buried it in his chest. He whispered "Let it go, let it all go." In my ear and I felt myself come undone. My screams were muffled by his chest and I felt like someone grabbed my heart and was yanking at it. The pain was still raw and I started to crumble in his arms, but he never let go. He stood there and held me while I broke down.

 

When the sobs subsided and my voice was hoarse from screaming I tentatively let go of him but still held onto his arms for support. I looked down because I was so embarrassed of what I just did, no matter how good it felt. He just arrived from a long and tiring journey and instead of going to rest he stayed here with me until I finished crying. People were probably wondering what the hell was going on right now. I looked around and saw that no one was around, we were completely alone, sans the guards stationed near the gate. I looked up at Garrett and he wiped the tears from my eyes and whispered "no more." I nodded and let him escort me back to the main hall.

 

When we reached the main hall, he stopped me and turned me to face him.

 

"There's someone I'd like you to meet."

 

"Wha-" my question was cut short when I saw a flash of silver white hair and glowing tattoos. I gasped and my eyes widened and I felt my brain is going to explode.

 

"Fenris." I whispered and looked between the elf in question and Garrett, who looked like those pics I see on the internet when they depict someone introducing their friend to their favorite show. 

 

A fangirling meltdown was imminent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emm'asha means my girl


	14. The Great Depression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry for the awfully long wait, my mental health issues were not the best lately and I had trouble writing. I hope you enjoy this extra long chapter and let me know what you think!

I stared at the elf standing in front of me and he stared back. This was Fenris. The Fenris. The only one I romanced when I played DA2. He was standing right in front of me and I felt an odd stillness. I knew this calm was more dangerous than freaking out in front of him and flailing around in excitement, but at least I didn't embarrass myself. Garrett shuffled nervously on his feet and nudged me.

“Aren't you gonna say anything?” He inquired anxiously. I turned to him and mustered every atom of bravado I have in my body, and arched my eyebrow.

“Like what, exactly?”

“I don't know, impress him, maybe?”

“Garrett, honey, one does not simply impress the Fenris.” I retorted. “It took you three years to get him to tolerate you, and you expect me to get him to like me in, what, three minutes?” I fixed him with a look and turned to Fenris when I heard him snort. A victory if there ever was one.

“I think introductions are in order. I'm Mikaela, pleased to meet you at last.” I extended my hand and he looked down at it in confusion. “Oh just shake it.” I explained. He looked dubious but extended his hand and took mine and shook it tentatively once and let go.

“Fenris, but from what Hawke told me, you already know me.” His voice sounded skeptic at the last sentence. Ah. Fenris is a suspicious one, I should've seen this coming. I could be an abomination for all he knows, travel between worlds isn't a thing that just happens every now and then after all. He distrusts mages and anything magical, well in the exception of Garrett. I have a tough task ahead of me.

“I know of you.” I decided to tread carefully, I wouldn't want to antagonize him so quickly.

“And what do you know about me, little girl?”

“Tevinter sucks, magic sucks, slavery sucks, and none of this shit makes sense to you, you think the best solution to this fuckery is marching down and killing Coryphefuck and be done with it.” His eyebrows rose and a hint of a smile crossed his features for a second before he turned to Garrett.

“She's good.” I shrugged and smoothed my hair back from where it escaped.

“I know trust doesn't come easy to you, and trusting me will take a while, but know this : I mean no harm to you or any one else here, as Garrett knows and have seen for himself, I didn't have the best life back from where I came from, and this is my second chance at living as normal a life as I can have. This is my home now, and people here are my family and I will do nothing to jeopardize it.” Garrett came beside me and put his hand on my shoulder.  
I hope I made a good impression. Judging from Fenris’ somber look, I made some impact on him, but you never know with him. Garrett then reminded us of his empty stomach and herded us to the table where the rest of the high ups were gathered for lunch. I spotted Dorian sitting in his usual place and skidded to a halt. Realization hit me like a tsunami wave of horror, and my mind started connecting the dots. Dorian. Mage, vint, Magister's son, family had slaves, probably knows Danarius, if he'd seen Danarius then he'd seen Fenris. He has a big mouth and therefore there will be trouble. Fuck.

I turned around and looked for Bull, spotting him next to Varric at the fireplace. I ran to him and hissed his name. He turned in surprise and bent down to me and I grabbed his horns and lowered him further to my eye level. He made a startled noise and I looked him straight in the eye. He immediately stiffened, his ready for commands posture whenever I grab him like that because he knows shit is going down.

“Bull, I need your help.” He nodded and waited for me to continue. “Fenris is here. Ex-slave Fenris.” He opened his mouth to reply but I cut him off. “Dorian is also here. Altus Dorian, whose family owned slaves. Mage Dorian who used to live in a place where blood magic is normal. Need I go on?” From the look on his face, I didn't need to.

“I'll go keep him in check.” I let him go and he straightened up.

“Good idea. If he so much as drops one sarcastic comment about slavery and magic or, god forbids, Fenris’ lyrium tattoos, you'll find yourself without a boyfriend.” Bull grunted in response and left to put a virtual leash on Dorian's mouth.

I went and sat next to Garrett and saw Bull share some discreet words with Dorian. Good. Now Fenris hopefully won't rip Dorian's heart out.

The very next day, Bull came to me in the morning with a forlorn air that clung to him.

“Morning Bull.” I greeted and put the tunic I was mending down. “What's wrong?”

“Gatt.” Was the only thing he said. Shit, it was time for Demands of the Qun. This is not going to be easy on Bull, either choice will leave a hard impact on him.

“Shit.”

“Yeah.” I reached for his massive hand and gave it a squeeze.

“When are you leaving?”

“At first light tomorrow.” It will take them about a week to the Storm Coast and a week back plus the day or two they spend there. Fuck I'll have to wait two weeks to see what happens.

“Okay. Take Dorian with you and be careful, please.” He nodded. “Whatever happens, Bull, we're here for you okay? Me, Dorian, Sam and the rest of your friends are here for you. You're family and family means no one gets left behind.” I squeezed his hand again and let go.

I left him and went to the training ring to find Krem. I needed to at least warn him that there'll be a risk. I can't tell him what happens, though. I don't know what I'd do if Bull came back without the Chargers.

I found him sparring with Meraad as usual, and waved for them to stop. Krem was wearing a sleeveless shirt, sort of like a tank top and Meraad was shirtless. Damn. I knew those two were hot but watching them half naked and sweaty is taking it to a new level. Okay compose yourself, damn it! This is not the time for hormonal outbursts.

“Hey guys.” I gave a small wave and stood in front of them as Meraad stowed the swords away.

“Hello there Missy, fancy what you see?” He wiggled his eyebrows and pointed to himself and Meraad, who raised his eyebrow. I cleared my throat and made a valiant effort not to stare at their impressive muscles.

“Oh I am barely keeping myself from swooning, Aclassi.”

“Oh Missy, you don't have to. I'll catch you in my strong arms if you fall.”

 I fanned my face with my hand and Meraad grunted and crossed his arms.

“Are you two going to flirt all day? We have training you know.” He demanded. I frowned and looked at him. What was up with him today?

“Sorry I just came to warn Krem about tomorrow.” Krem tensed and I turned to him and sighed.

“Chief told you about the offer?”

“I already knew, but yeah I was just with him.” He nodded and ran his hand through his tussled hair. “Listen Krem, you have to be careful out there. I know it's not your first mission but it will affect Bull in ways you don't know. Just come back alright? This place would suck without you.” I closed the distance between us and put my arms around his neck and felt his arms go around my waist. I was really afraid Bull might choose the Qun over the Chargers and then I'd never see Krem and the rest again.

“You know, I never knew you liked me so much.” He commented when I pulled back. I punched his arm lightly and stuck my tongue out at him. “Wow. Maturity at its finest.”

“Okay I have to go see Garrett and Fenris now, see you guys later.” I turned to leave.

“Mikaela, if you don't mind, can I have a word with you?” I was startled by Meraad's request but nodded affirmation. Krem left us to gather his stuff and go back to the Chargers and see how packing is going.

“What's up, Mer?”

“You've been our friend since Hissera and I got here and you've already helped us so much, but I can't help but ask you one more favor.” I was taken aback by the earnest in his voice.

“Whatever it is, I'm here for you. What's wrong?” He smiled timidly and rubbed his neck.

“Thank you. It's just that Hissera and I have always been together, whenever we had jobs we’d take them together and this is the first time we'll be separated for such a long time as two weeks and I wanted to ask you if you could take care of her while I'm gone.”

Woah woah woah, what?

“What do you mean gone? Are you…?”

“Yes, The Iron Bull requested that I'd join the Chargers on their missions from now on. He says since I've worked as for a mercenary company before it would be fitting if I joined the Chargers instead of the forces.” No no no but that would mean if Bull chose the Qun then Meraad would be lost too. This is too close for comfort and it scared the shit out of me.

“What's wrong?” I looked up to see Meraad looking down at me with concern. How could I tell him that there's a fifty/fifty chance that he's going to his doom?

“Nothing. I'll be happy to keep Hissera's company while you're gone, don't worry.”

Any thought I had been musing at that time was cut short when Meraad swooped down and pulled me in a bone crushing hug. I was hyper aware of his very naked torso, and arms that engulfed me and my face was buried in his chest. Impressive muscles was an understatement. He's fucking ripped. I was sure as hell that I was blushing my brains out when he set me down and noticed that he had a slight coloration to his cheeks.

“Sorry about that… I just… Thank you.” I mumbled a “you're welcome” and excused myself before I embarrassed myself any further in front of him.

  
I met Garrett and Fenris at the battlements for a tour around Skyhold since this is Fenris’ first visit. We walked on the ramparts all the way around the huge fortress and I pointed out the stuff that stood out. The tavern, the infirmary, the training ring, the stables, etc. Of course Garrett and I kept talking all the way, with the occasional comment or grunt from Fenris.

We decided, Garrett and I, that we should pay our dear commander a visit. Fenris pointed out that we just wanted to annoy the man, which was true. We crossed through that abandoned room in the corner of the tower, still full of debris, and headed towards Cullen’s office. Instead of knocking, like most human beings would, we pushed through and into the office immediately and announced ourselves with a, and I'm very proud to say, synchronized “CULLEN!”. The man in question yelped and dropped his quill.

“Maker’s breath, what are you doing here?!” Garrett and I flanked the commander from either side on the desk while Fenris leaned casually on the doorframe.

“Why, we came to see our dear commander, of course!” Stated Garrett cheerfully.

“Yes, how are you this fine morning?” I inquired with equal amounts of cheer.

“I am fine, thank you- no please get off the desk, I need those reports!” I dangled my feet off the desk and hummed. Garrett took the quill and inkwell and grinned.

“Mikaela would you like a tattoo?” He asked innocently.

“Why, yes of course!” I clapped my hands together. Cullen snatched the inkwell before Garrett could open it and sighed.

“Will you two stop doing this?”

“Cullen, honey, your hair is fabulous.” I diverted his question and instead reached a hand to his hair, which he swatted.

“Yes, Cullen, your hair now is a far cry from what it used to be back at Kirkwall.” Cullen groaned put his head in his hands.

“I bet you anything this was Leliana’s doing.” I stage whispered to Garrett, earning another groan from Cullen.

Before Garrett could reply, though, we both got yanked by our collars by a smirking elf. He dragged us out and told us that the commander has suffered enough.

By lunch time, we decided that Fenris had seen enough of Skyhold and it was time to go eat. It may have been partially because Garrett and I were starving but don't tell Fenris!

The rest of the day passed in a blur, hanging out with Fenris and Garrett, spending a couple of hours with Solas, Cole and Hissera, reading time with Dorian, carving with Blackwall, dinner with Sam and the rest, then off to the tavern. They had given me a couple of days off per Garrett's request to hang out with him and Fenris, but I should be back to work tomorrow.

The mood was gloomy in the Herald’s Rest. The Chargers were drinking quietly and their leader was nowhere to be seen. The thing about The Chargers is that they're the life of the party. If they're in a good mood, the whole tavern would be bustling, but if they're in a somber mood, then you'd literally find more cheer in a graveyard.

Garrett and I shared a look before we started conspiring on how to lift the mood. We decided to recruit Maryden in our efforts and she happily obliged. I simply had to think about Cole to get him to come to me. We sat there, the four of us plus Fenris and a wine bottle, trying to think of something to cheer people up and especially the Chargers since they're the ones who need it most.

“Can I get your attention, please!” I bellowed once Garrett lifted me up and put me on one of the spare tables. Heads snapped up in my direction. Now that I got their attention…

“Yes thank you. Now,” I clapped my hands together. “As you all must have realized by now, morale is pretty low today.” A few murmurs of agreement went around. “Now we can't have that when our boys right there” I gestured to the Chargers. “are going on a job for two weeks. So to lift up those clouds off your heads, we decided to host a new weekly event called Story Night, where we will be, obviously, telling stories from where we came from. As with Amateur Night, I'll kick off the event and we'll circulate from there.” They were nodding their heads and rubbing their hands together in excitement. Wow, anything can excite this lot today.

I sat on a stool and gestured for Cole to come over. I asked him if I can borrow his hat for the night, he seemed squeamish but he obliged.

“This is the Storyteller Hat.” I announced to the gathered crowd, holding Cole’s hat then put it on my head. It was big and I felt kinda goofy wearing it but it served its purpose. “Whoever gets it next will have to tell a story, alright?” I got a murmur of agreement in response.

“Alright then let's start!” They cheered and I motioned for them to quiet down. I noticed Sam, Cass, Varric and Blackwall were here. Sera already lived here so she never really leaves the place much. Harding was here too.

“In a hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit…” Immediately there were murmurs of confusion and I heard someone asking “what is a Hobbit?” and someone else to the side “ yeah what is a hobbit?” so I started explaining about Middle Earth’s history and occupants and answered quite a lot of questions like “Trees are ALIVE?”, “Dwarves and Elves hate each other?”, “Elves live for THOUSANDS of years?!” And my personal favorite, which was a statement rather than a question, “That human is a real arsehole.” Which came from Sera regarding Isildur.

“Will you let the lass talk?” Barked Krem from his place, and clanked his tankard with the chair for emphasis. The crown quieted down to let me continue. I nodded to Krem and turned my attention to my listeners.

“So this Dwarf king was famed across the land for having one of the biggest treasure rooms anyone has ever seen before, I mean the guy was fucking loaded and on top of that, a miner found him this gorgeous gemstone which he called the Arkenstone and claimed it a divine sign of his rule. His gold sickness got stronger and he stopped eating and just spent his time in the treasury. Basically he was being a greedy bitch.” That got chuckles from the crowd and I adjusted the hat on my head and went on.

“So heaps of gold, gems and all around known components of treasure hoards. Guess what that drew?” I looked to the tavern for an answer and people started scrunching their faces in thought.

“Dragons!” Boomed a familiar voice from above. I looked up to see Bull sitting on the stairs. Where the hell did he come from? And what was he doing upstairs? A shuffle beside him alerted me to the presence of one Tevinter Altus and I internally cringed, no I do not want to know what those two were doing upstairs, thank you very much.

“Yes, dragons! A very big, very nasty dragon flew all the way from the north to this kingdom and burned have the population and forced the other half to run for their lives. Prince Broody Face, the King’s grandson, was the one who actually led people to safety. He saw king Twig Pants, the Elven king of the nearest kingdom, and shouted for him to help them. Of course Twig Pants was a fucking snob and turned his back to them and pranced back to his little forest.” Someone made a noise of outrage and Blackwall said “how could he turn his back to innocent people in need of help?” I smiled at their indignation.

“That's what prince Broody thought, and from that moment on he hated all Elves with every fiber of his being.” I continued telling them about the Dwarves and their struggles, the hardship they faced, the battle of Azanulbizar and the loss of their king and his son, leaving his grandson to be a crownless king, up to the point where the wizard arrives at the Hobbit’s doorstep.

“Then this wizard had the audacity to invite thirteen Dwarves to the poor Hobbit’s home and let them pillage his fucking pantry. Now I don't think the Dwarves knew that the damn wizard manipulated both parties but that's irrelevant. So then after they finished eating there was a knock on the door and guess who it is?” I looked expectantly at the crowd for an answer.

“Prince Broody?” Garrett quipped from his place.

“King Broody now, not that he's crowned or anything. Anyway king Broody, as the name suggests, was not the most cheerful of Dwarves. He was a total prick to our poor Hobbit and it was entirely unnecessary.”

“But why is that?” Cole asked.

“Hmm let me see, Bull what was the first thing you said when you met your sparkly Vint?”

Dorian huffed indignantly at the name and Bull scratched his chin, trying to remember.

“’Careful, it's always the pretty ones that are dangerous’ or something like that” quipped Sam and shrugged.

“Close enough and see? He was hostile to Dorian at first.”

“Wait wait, so are you telling me that king Broody will fall in love with the squishy Hobbit?” Inquired Garrett and the crowd went like a beehive with noise. I hummed and smiled at them.

“Alright quiet down you lot.” They murmurs died down and I took a breath. “I ain't spoiling anything yet so shush and let me finish.”

And they did quiet down enough for me to continue telling the story. Now I may have embellished the details and made it into a grand love story, I'm a shipper at heart, sue me! People seemed hanging into every word and had questions about everything.

When I revealed the end of the story ending by the king’s death, there were shocked gasps and a few people had tears in their eyes.

“They asked him when he came back what that Dwarf was to him and do you know what he said?” And I did my best impression of Martin Freeman then. “He was my- to me he was-“ deep breath. “He was my friend.”

Cassandra had tears streaming down her face, several other people were sniffling, a lot of people’s faces were scrunched up.

“And they never confessed their feelings.” Whispered Garrett, who had Fenris’ left hand in a death grip. I shook my head sadly and wiped the tears that fogged my vision. I always cry at the end of this particular story, it was just so unfair!

“No. And the Hobbit lived on thinking the king had held him in contempt even despite the king's dying words. He thought his feelings were one sided and never knew how the king longed for him in return.” Now I got people to cry for real.

I waited for them to compose themselves before taking off the hat.

“Who wants to be next?” Reluctantly they passed the hat between them and told their stories, most were romantic and some were funny, light hearted ones. I think they chose ones that would ease the blow that my story dealt them. Well sorry not sorry!

At any rate, the purpose of my endeavor was achieved and the tavern was back to the usual raucous. I looked at the Chargers and was happy to see that they were laughing at what the current storyteller, an Antivan merchant, was saying. At least I got them to smile and laugh before they left.

Oh well, I'll deal with the mess that follows their return when the time comes. Living the moment is what matters.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will love you forever if you get the two references lol

**Author's Note:**

> This is unedited and unbeta'ed so bear with me


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